"It's New Year's Resolution Time!" by Asian Female

When I was younger, my girlfriends and I would do this ritual that a friend of a friend had heard about:

1) Write 3 wishes on 3 separate pieces of paper. However, you must write down a *realistic* wish so if you wished for a million dollars, you're just forfeiting that wish.

2) Fold each piece of paper separately and place them underneath your pillow before you go to sleep on New Year's Eve. You're supposed to think about your wishes as you fall asleep.

3) When you wake up the next morning on New Year's Day, pull only one piece of folded paper out from underneath your pillow. That wish will come true in the new year.

The problem was a whole year would take so long that I'd always end up forgetting what I wished for... but the next New Year's Eve, I'd be back to writing my wishes down. It was one of those silly girlie things we used to do. It sure beats making up REAL New Year's resolutions -- this way, we could escape from holding ourselves accountable for our lives. It was much easier to believe in some magical wish than to actually create concrete action plans to obtain what we wanted.

Wishes can be dangerous. The act of wishing is a passive behavior and some of us are still bound by it. How many times do you hear people start a sentence by saying: I wish I could...

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Randall Park in Dr. Miracles

I remember watching this guy on the AZN channel when it was still around. He's quite funny with that smarmy demeanor. Anyway, these clips are NOT WORK SAFE.

Part One:


Part Two:

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Bobby Lee's Wing Woman: Ardin Myrin

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"Ask, and Ye Shall Receive" by Asian Female

My dad has never been shy of asking for things but ever since my mom passed away over a year ago, he has really embraced the concept of "Ask, and Ye Shall Receive". I would speculate that after having lost such a huge piece of his life, he has realized that everyone should take every opportunity to ask for what he/she wants. It's quite refreshing actually and it has strangely brought us closer together.

He has simple requests like picking up an extra bag of rice at Costco or making a purchase online but oddly, I get a good feeling inside just by being able to do something for him. It makes me feel like he is accepting of what I have to offer and approving of the person I've become. It's weird how expressing your wants can create a sense of openness but I guess that's what a healthy relationship should be - an open exchange of asking, giving and of course, appreciating.

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108 Spirits

So here's a website with a congregation of people that I enjoy talking with: 108 Spirits. I like their attitude: no whiny self-indulgent woe-is-me introspection crap. No pseudo-intellectuals with rhetoric and ideological buzz words coming out of their mouthes instead of original thought. Just Asian guys from all over the world who talk and act like men: direct, to the point, unpretentious and unconcerned with shit that don't matter.

To illustrate, here's a post at their forum by an Aussie Asian:

"Personally I don't really care about negative media images. I turn the TV off, problem solved! What I care about is inspiring more Asian men to become fearless and passionate, free to express their sexuality and exude a strong presence wherever they go. What I recommend to Asian guys who haven't got their woman problems under control:

- Get your arse to the gym, pump some iron, baby!
- Eat more beef!!! Put that friggin' soy milk down and don't eat tofu!
- You don't want to look like a nerd? Well if you look like you can kick arses and you're built like a fighting machine, it doesn't matter if you have thick glasses or funny eyes, the last thing people have in their minds will be that you're a nerd.

- Fix your fashion sense, one small thing at a time.
- Move out of your parents' place if you haven't done already. Pointless to "romantically connect" with women if you can't easily bring them home and "connect" the brain out of them.

- Join a competitive sports club or two. If you pick mixed sports, get on the crappy team - they have the hottest chicks. The good ones are full of lesbians.

- Get a hobby & build a social circle that has plenty of women in it, so that you're always meeting new women. Instead of going out night after night, use that time & energy to build something that keeps on laying more golden eggs for you.

- Find out what's unique about yourself and STAND OUT like you're the biggest tool in the shed! Be Yourself and Fuckin' Flaunt It!

- Learn how to flirt, learn some verbal jiujitsu.
- Turn the fucking TV off so you can stop bitching about the media.
- Stop caring about whom Asian women are fucking, or whether they're on our side or not.

- Traditional Asian values. As someone who's very much into Asian history, literature and philosophy and who grew up in an Asian country, I reckon many Asians living overseas have a really fucked up view on what our cultural values and traditions really are. A lot of negative things about them are blamed on their 'traditional upbringing,' whereas I believe if they were of another race, it would be blamed on some individuals - i.e bad parenting or the lack of a good role model. I believe this is one of the core factors leading to their identity issues.

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Gold in Peace, Iron in War

Sometimes we take things for granted here in the San Francisco Bay Area. News is out that Police Chief Heather Fong is retiring, and a lot of people are surprised to learn of an Asian American female who was the head of a police department. We've had 2 Asian American police chiefs: Fred Lau was the first Asian American police chief from 1996-2002 and is currently the TSA federal security director for Oakland International Airport.


Asian police officers make up 13% of SFPD's sworn personnel. So you will find lots of Asian Americans in rather unstereotypical leadership roles. SFPD is not the only agency, however. You will find Asian Americans in the sheriff's department, the FBI, the district attorney's office, the fire department and various other agencies in the city.

A true sign that an ethnicity has integrated with society is when it's members permeate every aspect of society.

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Iron Man 2: John Cho as the Mandarin?!

Apparently these screwballs at Entertainment Weekly are trying to drive traffic to their site by spreading the rumor that John Cho will be cast as the Mandarin and Tommy Chong (?!) will play his father in Ironman 2.


So allow me to geek out for a second here: Fu Manchu stereotypes aside, Cho would make a horrible Mandarin. Obviously, they're not going to portray the Mandarin as the Ming-the-Merciless knock-off from the old Ironman issues (at least I hope not!). But they will probably portray one of the updated Mandarin incarnations, maybe the one where he's a corporate mogul hellbent on world domination. John Cho has too youthful a look to play that type of villian. Seriously, can you imagine Harold kicking Ironman's ass for an hour or two?

It's been a while since I've read comic books, but the last time I saw the Mandarin was in the X-men issue that Jim Lee drew. That was the classic masterpiece issue where Psylocke underwent the "Manchurian Candidate" brainwashing process. I'm sure that issue's worth thousands of dollars now.

OK, enough of my nerd relapse.

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Shop Often, Eat Fresh

I visited my grandparents in Hong Kong one time, and I noticed they had an old 1960's refrigerator. My dad, who grew up in the States, bought this refrigerator for his parents in 1969. I opened this fridge up, and it was completely empty. Apparently, they hadn't used the refrigerator in 23 years. They had no use for it, because they bought their food fresh daily and never stocked up on items. In fact, during my 2 week stay with them at the time, the only thing that was in their refrigerator was a jar of peanut butter that I bought for myself.

Many countries other than the US are like this: you shop for fresh food frequently rather than once a week at Costco. The main reason people in these countries grocery shop so frequently is that they buy fresh foods, foods that will spoil in a few days if you don't eat them: vegetables, fruits, meat.

Even though it's a pain in the ass to shop so often, it is a much healthier way to eat. Sure, food that comes in a box, can or vacuum sealed might last forever on the shelf, but these foods tend to be starchy carbs. And if you ate nothing but starchy carbs because you can't cook and are too lazy to learn, then you end up with a fat body lacking in vital nutrients.

A great strategy while grocery shopping is to employ "U-shopping." U-shopping means you only shop along the perimeter of a supermarket, because that is where you normally find the fresh foods and the foods that will spoil: meats, vegetables, fruits. Processed foods (foods that come in a box or can) are typically in aisles.

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Develop an Asian American Consciousness and Be Damn Good at Something

During my time in grad school, I presented at a couple of academic conferences on Asian American Studies: one in Hawaii and the other in D.C. My presentation was Racism and Advertising in 19th America in 1996. I had a slide show of all the negative imagery of Chinese Americans at the time. Very esoteric and very pedantic stuff. The Model Minority website snagged my 1996 article and posted it several years later.

Analyzing and cataloging all of those negative stereotypes just burned me out at the time. I didn't feel like I was developing any skills to better the Asian community. My thesis adviser told me something very profound but pragmatic at the same time. She told me, "You want to help the Asian American community? Then get a regular job. Develop some skills and expertise that address the needs of the Asian American community."

Years later I met a great guy who used to be an Asian American Studies instructor. He got his master's from the UCLA Asian American Studies Program, and afterward he taught Asian American Studies at various local colleges in the L.A. area. He quit, because:

1) Unless he got his PhD, he would remain an instructor working part-time, as opposed to a full-time professor.
2) Scurrying around different colleges to teach Asian American Studies course was taking a toll on him, and he wasn't earning a decent living.

Now he's a police detective, helping the general public.

When it comes down to it, if you want to help Asian Americans, then develop that Asian American consciousness but also be a valuable asset to the community. A desire to help the Asian American community is great, but you have to offer something substantial that the community can benefit from. Know what your talents are and exercise them to better the lives of Asian Americans and people in general.

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Cha Cha Ch***man

I watched this short film (via AA Risings), and all I can is WTF? It has it's moments and it's entertaining overall, but it does come up with some weird surprises. And what's up with the horrible title? Anyway watch and let me know what you think.

Part 1:

Part 2:

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Asian Americans remain rare in men's college basketball

Source: SF Gate

Jeremy Lin has seen it and heard it.

Too short. Too skinny. Picked last. Asian.

Those tags stick to Lin wherever he goes, even as the starting point guard for Harvard's basketball team.

"It's a sport for white and black people," Lin said. "You don't get respect for being an Asian American basketball player in the U.S."

Although the game is brimming in popularity among Asian American youth - there are Asian leagues, club teams like the San Jose Ninjas and San Jose Zebras, and packed courts outside schools, churches and temples - Lin practically is alone.

Of 4,814 Division I men's basketball players in 2006-07, there were 19 Asian Americans (including Pacific Islanders and ethnically mixed), according to the most recent NCAA Student-Athlete Race and Ethnicity Report. That's 0.4 percent.

Players, coaches and sociologists cite stereotypes and cultural factors as reasons that percentage might not rise very much in the foreseeable future. At the same time, there are players and coaches making inroads to mainstream, high-profile basketball, and there's a feeling of pioneer spirit among them.

"Especially now that there are lots of Asian Americans growing up and playing, I have to try to hold my own in college," Lin said. "It's definitely motivational and it gives me a chip on my shoulder."

Lin, who leads the Crimson (4-4) in points, steals and assists and is second in rebounds, is one of the best Asian American basketball players to come from the Bay Area.

After Palo Alto High won the Division II state title in 2006, Lin's senior season, he was named first-team All-State and Northern California Division II Player of the Year. He was The Chronicle's Metro Player of the Year. Considering those honors and his senior stats - 15.1 points, 7.1 assists, 6.2 rebounds and five steals - Lin thought he'd get at least a few Division I scholarship offers.

He got none.

"I'm not saying top-5 state automatically gets you offers," Lin said, "but I do think (my ethnicity) did affect the way coaches recruited me. I think if I were a different race, I would've been treated differently."

At Harvard, the 6-foot-3 junior has faced harsh conditions on the road.

"I hear everything: 'Go back to China. Orchestra is on the other side of campus. Open up your eyes,' " Lin said. "They're yelling at me before, during and after. I'm an easy target because I'm Asian. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable, but it's part of the game."

Kelvin Kim, who transferred from UCLA and now is the starting point guard for UC San Diego, sees it in his everyday encounters with classmates.

"No one expects me to be a basketball player," said Kim, who is from Lake Forest (Orange County).

Kirk Kim went to Salesian High in Richmond and walked on at Cal in the late '90s. He said, "Automatically, playing - especially in the inner city - you get no respect being Asian."


Thin coaching ranks

Coaches face similar hurdles.

Seattle Pacific's Jeff Hironaka is considered the only current Asian American Division II head coach. He has 28 years of coaching experience and an 121-59 record in six-plus seasons as the Falcons' head coach. As an assistant, he helped them to at least a share of six conference championships and a national semifinal appearance in 2000.

Hironaka has interviewed in vain for Division I jobs.

"I was told they needed to hire an African American, and another school said they needed to hire a Caucasian," Hironaka said. "I'm not one or the other, so then I'm out.

"I understand assistant coaches you have to recruit - most (players) are Caucasian - so they ask, 'What can you help us do? Recruit Asians?' "

Hironaka continued: "You don't want to call it discrimination, but it's a discrimination kind of scenario. Sometimes you have to accept the reality of it. It's a tough barrier to crack."

Rex Walters, now in his first season as head coach at USF, is considered the only Asian American Division I men's basketball head coach. On his staff is assistant coach Danny Yoshikawa, a Japanese American who was conference player of the year at UC Davis in 1996.

"We've slowly, steadily grown," said Yoshikawa of Asian Americans breaking into the game. "I would've never seen two (Asian Americans) at USF. I just think that those kinds of things just take place over time.

"It's more getting to the point where people are going to hire guys - maybe it's because they're getting over the stigmas - because they are doing a good job."

One case in point is the Miami Heat's Erik Spoelstra. Spoelstra, who played at the University of Portland, this year became the first Filipino American head coach in the NBA.

Though Lin and Kelvin Kim are starting in college, getting to the NBA is a longshot for almost everyone. Given the tiny pool of Asian Americans in the college game, the chance of a player making it to the top is small indeed.

Walters was a rare exception.

A standout at Kansas, Walters, who is hapa (his mother, Yoko, is Japanese and his father, Monte, is Caucasian), was taken 16th in the 1993 NBA draft, one of the first Asian Americans to make it to the pros. He spent eight seasons in the league.


Walters not optimistic

Now, from his point of view as a recruiter, Walters thinks youth trends are reducing the crop of potential Asian American players.

"I wanted to be a basketball player and I invested all my time into that," Walters said. "It's a totally different thinking now. You see kids spending time playing PlayStation 3 and that's time lost in the gym.

"When I was growing up, there were lots of good Asian American basketball players. I haven't seen those same types (while recruiting)."

Some other recent examples of Asian Americans in basketball: Blake Wallace is a junior forward at USF; Bobby Nash, a swingman at Hawaii last season, signed with the Shiga Lakestars of Basketball Japan; and Derrick Low, the former Washington State guard, signed with the Sydney Spirit in Australia's National Basketball League.

Wallace and Nash are both 6-6, two examples that contradict stature stereotypes. And one prominent coach sees the mixing of all races as a factor in the future of Asian American players.

"Society has come to be interracial marriages, and because of that, you're seeing (Asian Americans) that are bigger and stronger," said Darren Matsubara, basketball consultant for adidas basketball and coach for the EBO/2K Sports AAU team. "There are going to be more players coming up now."

However, the number of Asian Americans on prominent teams remains disproportionately low.

In the NCAA's eight-year ethnic-background survey, the smallest total of Asian Americans in Division I men's basketball was 10 (2003-04) and the largest was 27 (2005-06).


Family priorities

"I do think it's startling," said Jere Takahashi, a sociologist in Asian American Studies at Cal. "At the same time, I found talking to student-athletes ... (that) families don't emphasize sports; they put emphasis on academics.

"Whether coming from an immigrant family or a family of three or four generations, (schoolwork) becomes the interest of parents."

Professor Henry Yu, who taught Asian American studies at UCLA for 14 years and is now at the University of British Columbia, said people often categorize Asians as being too short as the reason why there aren't more players in the game. That's not the case.

Yu offers two factors why the odds are against Asian Americans.

The first is Asian American families putting pressure on young males to earn a paycheck, which is very difficult to do as an athlete.

"There's a reason why the Asian athletes are coming from overseas," Yu said. "If you're growing up in North America, there are family values and pressures to become a good husband. There's a sense of family ideology, and dreaming to be a professional athlete is not a good idea. It's frowned upon."

The second factor is the difficulty for Asian Americans to break into established sports networks like into the AAU web, college programs and the coaching scene.

"Those networks are very strong and often are racial," Yu said. "That's why it's so hard for blacks to get into coaching.

"That force has slowed down African Americans and Latinos up until 30 years ago. Hispanic players are now the largest minority playing baseball. It took a lot for the dam to break, but I don't see it breaking for Asian Americans."

Matsubara, who played at Cal State Northridge, says players are fighting themselves.

"It really starts with the mind," Matsubara said. "Most Asian basketball players are defeated before they start. There's the stereotype that Asians don't play ball. Then you have people in the community being negative toward you ... so then you begin to think, 'Why pursue this?'

"In Asian basketball, if an individual can understand and accept going outside the box, then you'll start to see more players."

Yet Matsubara said in the 15 years he has been scouting players that it seems Asian Americans "have been discouraged and given up."

Lin and Kelvin Kim are in the position of being role models.

"(People) come up to me and let me know how much they look up to me and they ask me for advice," Kim said. "It makes me feel motivated that they're looking up to me, and the fact that I can be, like, that light to them basketball-wise, it motivates me to want to do that and be as successful as possible.

"I've had people from Korea hit me up on Facebook who were trying to play basketball, and people from Canada."

When it comes to role models, Lin and Kelvin Kim do look up to the NBA players from China, the Rockets' Yao Ming and the Nets' Yi Jianlian. Lin and Kim each wants to leave his own mark.

"I'm on my own mission, and there aren't many people who can relate to me," Lin said. "(My parents) try to tell me to plan ahead and they tell me basketball isn't going to feed you for the rest of your life.

"But I feel like I have something to prove to everyone out there. In a sense, I'm trying to represent Asian Americans on the basketball court and I'm trying to be the best player and reach my potential."


By the numbers

Number of Asian Americans in NCAA men's college basketball, according to the NCAA:

Year DI DII DIII
1999-00 15 17 45
2000-01 12 18 54
2001-02 11 19 48
2002-03 11 20 54
2003-04 10 27 53
2004-05 20 31 46
2005-06 27 27 61
2006-07 19 35 38


Meanwhile:

From 1999 to 2007, the number of Asian American Division I women's basketball players has gone up in six years. In 2005-06, there were 76, the most ever recorded.

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APA Blogs: Creating Societal Change in the Blogsphere

So I was featured in the Pacific Citizen, an award-winning Asian Pacific American semi-monthly newspaper published by the JACL. The article is about the Asian American blogosphere and its influence on the community. You can check out the article HERE. In the meantime, here are a couple quotes from me:

"I started the Alpha Asian Blog as a way to showcase the creativity and positive energy of Asians and Asian Americans," said James Chan, creator and administrator of Alpha Asian Blog, which showcases original videos and forums by APAs. "I've observed lots of talented Asians representing the community in a positive manner and contributing to society. I wanted to compile these positive and talented role models and present them to the world."

"I want Asian Americans to understand that our community has a wealth of talent that is largely untapped. My hope with the (blog) is that Asian Americans would develop a more confident and positive outlook," Chan said. "The goal of the Alpha Asian Blog is to shed light on our Asian American role models, the ones that Hollywood ignores."

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Ukulele Weeps by Jake Shimabukuro

WOW! I'm surprised this guy's ukulele didn't catch on fire.

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"Gift Giving - The Chinese Way" by Asian Female

Ah the holidays… the joy of racking your brain for good gift ideas and trying to come up with innovative ones year after year. Why do families always seem the hardest?

I haven’t been a part of any non-Chinese family so I can’t really say that they seem to be the most difficult but it sure seems that way when I talk to other people. There are so many rules associated with gift giving in the Chinese culture:

1) avoid anything with the number four because it sounds like “death”
2) avoid gifts in the color white because it’s the color you wear at funerals
3) avoid clocks because it symbolizes their time to die
4) avoid odd numbers because they bring bad luck
5) avoid giving shoes because it means you want the person to leave you
6) avoid giving books because it sounds like “loss”
7) avoid giving umbrellas because it sounds like “separation”
8) avoid giving anything with sharp edges because it symbolizes severing relations
9) avoid giving gifts that would make it impossible for the recipient to reciprocate or else you would cause the person to lose face

As if that’s not enough, there’s also a rule that states the recipient must decline a gift offering two or three times before accepting. Can you say AI –YAH?!

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The Kubler-Ross Model Applied to Asian Americans

Everybody knows of the Kubler-Ross model on grief, but not everybody realizes that this is the name attributed to this theory. The Kubler-Ross model states that when one must deal with a tragedy or a loss, the person undergoes 5 stages:

1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance

The funny thing is you can apply this model to Asian American psychology. In a sense, the Asian American experience (at least in the old days) involves loss: many Asian Americans feel culturally disinherited, whether it be a disconnect from the ancestral culture or marginalization in Western society.


The Asian American in Denial- This person strongly denies his/her Asian heritage and is extremely whitewashed. S/he feels a sense of superiority to other "unenlightened" Asians who aren't as assimilated as him/her. In his/her mind, the white way is the right way. Unfortunately, college education has made this person an arrogant, condescending asshole.


The Angry Asian Man, a.k.a. Bitter Asian Man- This guy (it's almost always a guy) feels the entire world is out to get him. He is an injustice collector and constantly gripes about how the world is doing the Asian man wrong. He is passive-aggressive and will bitch about a wrongdoing long after the incident has passed. Don't get this guy going about Asian women and white men, or he'll get crazy on your ass.


The Bargaining Asian American, a.k.a. The Yellow Uncle Tom- This guy/gal panders to white people all the time. He is the Chinese waiter who will greet white customers with the warmest smile and treat you like shit. The comedian Esther Ku is a prime example of the Asian who thinks, "If I trash my own kind enough, white people will like me... they'll really like me!"

Usually, this strategy backfires, because nobody likes a traitor.


The Depressed Asian American, a.k.a. the Internally Colonized- This guy is constantly whining about how his Asian heritage is a liability in some way: "I'm too short, because I'm Asian," "Girls won't date me, because I'm Asian," "The media stereotypes Asian people."

Blah-blah-blah. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. The depressed Asian American is depressing, because his mind has been colonized to think, "I'm a victim, because I'm Asian," and "White media/society/people are all-powerful," so "I can't do anything, so what's the point?"

This guy needs a kick in the ass and good shot of self-esteem.


The Asian American Who Accepts Him/Herself- This Asian American accepts himself for what he is, but is always to looking to enrich his life with experiences and develop as a person. He doesn't constantly refer to his Asian heritage, unless the situation requires it. He understands that he is an Asian American, but as an individual, he is much more than that. He will defend Asian Americans interests, because he believes in doing what is right for all people.


AsianUnderground from Boardmunky on Vimeo.

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Go to China to Lose Weight

So here's a story I found through the Degenerasian blog: Go to China to Lose Weight.

I think we've all noticed this effect when we travel abroad, whether it be Asia or Europe: we lose weight! It's interesting to note that many countries eat far more carbohydrates than Americans (notably China and Italy), and yet people from these countries weigh far less than Americans. Much of this has to do with the fact that people in other countries tend to eat smaller portions, and they walk or bicycle everywhere. Plus, Americans react very poorly to stress, which increases the amount of abdominal fat on your body.

Since Asian countries have become more Westernized and affluent, however, their diets have included more meat and more fats. The Okinawans are the most long-lived people in the world, but unfortunately, younger generations of Okinawans are encountering health problems due to the consumption of fast food.

In China, there is a phenomenon called the little emperor syndrome, where due to the one-child policy "both parents lavish attention and resources on their one child, the child becomes increasingly spoiled and gains a sense of self importance and entitlement."

An effect of this syndrome has been overweight boys. The parents end up sending these boys tp physical education classes, much the same way as one here attends a cardio class or yoga class.

A culture's cuisine not only affects body composition, but the cultural psychology as well. Koreans tend to eat lots of meat, veggies and spicy food, and they're stereotyped as hot-headed. Many Indians are vegetarians, and as a result India produced Gandhi, Buddha and yoga. Coincidence?!

Or how about the Mongols? Meat and dairy. Very little carbs. And they lived the Old World's equivalent to the Hell's Angels lifestyle.

The effect of diet on psychology is quite profound. Consider the brainwashing techniques of the Russians. You would figure that starvation would break a person down and make his mind malleable, but it has the opposite effect: one becomes more focused. If you feed someone nothing but carbohydrates (no protein, no fat), then you fuck up his serotonin levels. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that modulates anger, aggression, mood and sleep.

Bottom line: eat a well-balanced diet. For mental health and longevity, a fish and veggies diet is the way to go.

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Untitled by Asian Female

So my coworker says to me this morning, "Hey you know how Blahbity-Blah has been going through a hard time lately? Well I was talking to her the other day about Christmas shopping for the kids and she mentioned that her daughter isn't going to have much of a Christmas this year because she can't afford the gift her daughter really REALLY wants. So I was thinking how nice it would be if we could start an anonymous fund for her and that way she'd be able to give her daughter a nice Christmas. No pressure, just however much you wanna contribute."

"What does her daughter want for Christmas?" I ask.

The response - a Nintendo DS Lite.

Excuse me?!

Only a non-Asian person would think this justifies as reason to start an anonymous fund. Maybe I'm old school but I come from a world where all I had for a toy growing up was a square piece of orange faux-fur. I learned early on in life that priorities need to be made, sacrifices are required and if you don't get what you want, you'd better have a damn good imagination! My parents survived those Communist days of labor camps & food rationing - 2 ounces of meat a month! Should I really be feeling sorry for a woman who can't afford to buy her *5 YEAR OLD* a Nintendo DS Lite??

This is the reason why America has been going down the tube and China is going to rise as the next super power. The American mentality is too dependent on handouts. We've got the charities and the fundraisers and the welfare programs - donations for everything you can think of. These are just crutches people so don't kid yourself - we're not doing anybody any favors. When are we going to say life-is-hard-so-suck-it-up! What life lesson is this five year old child going to learn by receiving a Nintendo DS Lite for Christmas? More importantly, 15 years from now when this child grows up to be an adult, what is this person going to expect from the world?

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Genghis Khan: The Greatest Pimp of All Time

"The greatest happiness is to vanquish your enemies, to chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth, to see those dear to them bathed in tears, to clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters"

- Genghis Khan



So according to Wikipedia, the wealthiest person by far (alive or dead) in all of human history was Genghis Khan. I don't know how they came up with these numbers, but this will give you an idea of how much richer Genghis was compared to everyone else ever:



Genghis Khan had a net worth of 713.2 billion dollars, over twice as much as the second wealthiest person of all time, J.D. Rockefeller, who had a networth of 318.3 billion dollars.



Can you imagine that? You got so much wealth, you can't rid of it fast enough. You conquer over half of the Eurasian continent. Nobody fucks with you, because you've got a reputation as the biggest badass of all time. AND you've got women of all ethnicities and race all over the known world.



Genghis Khan, you are the biggest Alpha Asian ever!

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Can You Eat Bitterness?

I love watching reality game shows. There are some really crazy shows with some crazy premises ("Hole in the Wall" comes to mind), but most have one thing in common: how much punishment can you endure for a prolonged period of time?

As a whole, Asian Americans have done very well in reality game shows. The most famous is Survivor winner Yul Kwon, but there are other prominent Asian American Survivors, such as Yau-Man Chan from Survivor Fiji, the most beloved competitor from the series:

"An atypical Survivor contestant, he achieved much success through his knowledge and utilization of basic physics. This was evident from the first episode. After the repeated efforts of much more muscular contestants, he was the only one able to open a box of supplies the tribe received.

"While others had used various brute force methods to open the box, Chan simply dropped it on its corner onto a rock, opening it immediately. In this way he was also able to beat younger, fitter and theoretically stronger players in challenges. While not shown on the series, he was also instrumental to the creation of fire using spectacles (something not normally possible with concave lenses)."


Currently in Survivor Gabon, professional gamer Ken Hoang is still in the running, having masterfully outwitted stronger and more athletic players.

Solitary is another reality show where contestants compete with each other by voluntarily placing themselves in solitary confinement for an indefinite length of time (days to weeks), undergoing mental and physical tests (a.k.a. torture) with little to no sleep or food. If you think Survivor is tortuous, Solitary is ten times worse.

Solitary and Solitary 2.0 were both won by Asian Americans: high school teacher Steve G. won Season 1 and photographer Phu Pham won Season 2.


So why have Asian Americans performed so well in these games of mental and physical endurance and torture? Part of the reason has to do with how Asians deal with suffering. Asians tend to tolerate suffering more and endure it longer. You don't bitch about yourself and your suffering. You don't whine about could've, should've, would've. You just deal with it and move on. You eat bitterness.

This is a good thing if your suffering leads to a desired goal, but not good if people take advantage of you and you don't punish them for it.

But with proper focus on the right kind of suffering (the kind that leads to reward), eating bitterness can be a good thing. If you want something bad enough, then you have to do a lot of hard work and deal with a lot of heartache to get what you want. So ask yourself:

Do you have what it takes to get what you want? Can you eat bitterness?

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"Bruce" Lights Matches with Nunchucks

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Roger Fan

The always hilarious Roger Fan.

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Chinatown Chat

This is their BEST webisode yet! NOT WORK SAFE.

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Working Out the Flat Asian Butt

"Dear James,

"I scoured through your strength blog, and I noticed there is no mention about how to work out the butt. In particular, if you are an ectomorph and have a flat Asian butt. I know everyone suggests, 'Squats, Squats, Squats!'

"Do you have any thoughts about how to get a rounder bulky butt? How many times a week should we do squats? Should I do low reps with heavy weight? I have been working out for 20 years now. I tested various methods, but this part of the body has stumped me. Anyways, I ordered your 2 books after hearing you on BetterAsianMan.com. Maybe the answer lies in those books?"

Regards,
Flat-butted Asian


My Answer: Ah, the dreaded no-junk-in-the-trunk Asian butt. There are programs in the Strength and Physique books that will develop your ass, although they were not specifically intended for badonka-donk building.

Don't you like how this conversation is going?

Anyway, to build a bootylicious butt, you do have to squat. The question is: are you squatting all the way down, ass to the grass? If you're doing half squats and stopping when your thighs break parallel, then of course you won't build any ass. Your glutes don't activate during squats unless you go all the way down.

If you're having a hard time building up the glutes AND you're an ectomorph, then start doing 20 rep breathing squats. These will build quite an ass on you, if you do full squats. 20 rep breathing squats will also put a lot of overall muscle on you. Lunges and reverse lunges are also very good building up the glutes, so include these as well.

Jeez, I never talked about the ass so much in a non-sexual context

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Offensive vs Defensive Mindset

It's interesting how the martial arts of a culture reflects it's philosophy and values. Although there are notable exceptions (Muay Thai), Western martial arts tend to have an offensive mindset while Eastern martial arts tend to have a defensive mindset.

The offensive mindset is this: The best defense is a good offense.

In the Western mindset, it is about meeting force with force. You cannot predict what others do, nor should you care. You only know what you can do, and you do it. You exert your force and will to dominate others. Action is always better than inaction. The offensive mindset operates on constant forward drive.

The defensive mindset is this: The best offense is a good defense.

In the Eastern mindset, it's about going with the flow. You cannot always meet force with force and expect to win. You choose your battles wisely. Every attack on you provides you with an opportunity to launch a counterattack. The defensive mindset operates on patience, skill and quickly taking advantage of opportunities.


A prime example of the defensive mindset is mixed martial artist Lyoto Machida. Here's a short descrip on his unorthodox fighting style from Wikipedia:

"Machida’s fight style has been described as 'deliberate' and 'methodical'—both as a compliment and out of disapproval. Following his victory over Tito Ortiz at UFC 84, he has received admiration and criticism for his unconventional ways, widening the so-called 'Machida Divide' among MMA fans. Supporters defend his 'elusive' ways as the genius of a sound technical fighter:

“I think when Machida fights you really get to see which fans appreciate MMA as a sport, and which just like to watch for random violence.”

"Detractors view his defensive approach as boring, diminishing the entertaining aspect of the sport: Machida’s 'get-in-get-out' style is seen by critics as a marketing liability for the UFC, which could hamper his career because fight fans keen on excitement might not pay to see him compete for a championship. Others contend that Machida would fail as a champion, because of a language barrier and his defensive approach would alienate fans."

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How Wars Should Be Fought

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18 Fingers of Death

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Illegal Immigrants

Happy Thanksgiving Alpha Asians!

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The Angry Asian Man Syndrome

So here's an article from The Dong-A Ilbo site:

"The Dong-A Ilbo commissioned the world’s leading search engine Google to conduct surveys on keywords that best represent 30 member countries of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development and China, as well as their people.

"The Korean people were mainly described as 'quick-tempered and workaholics,' followed by 'hardworking and ambitious' and 'friendly and kind.' Another interesting keyword was 'early morning prayers.'

"For the survey, Google Korea ran an automatic search Sunday evening on hundreds of billions of Web pages after typing in a series of questions in English on what a country or its people is known for.

"Japan was most known for kimono; Mount Fuji; ninjas; manga (comic books); sushi; and electronic goods. The Japanese were best known for their high life expectancy and materialistic pursuits and low risk of heart disease.

"The most common words associated with China were ancient civilization; kind people; the Great Wall of China; terracotta warriors; the Yangtze River; and exotic recipes. Words linked to the Chinese people included passionate about learning, culture and diverse natural remedies.

"The list for the United States was unique in that its top 10 keywords were all related to culture, beginning with exhibitions and festivals followed by concerts, experimental arts, entertainment, historic monuments, memorials and museums. Global Web users most often cited the tenacity and tolerance of Americans."

Posted on NOVEMBER 18, 2008 03:10


My friend (who happens to be an ABC like me) and I were talking a couple of nights ago about how Korean men seem rather uptight and angry all the time. He told me, "Yeah Korean women are so beautiful and nice, but the men are just assholes."

Of course, my friend was generalizing. But then again, maybe the Korean guys were trying to cock block him.

I've known plenty of Korean men, and they weren't hot-headed gun-toting wack jobs. Koreans are damn hip, actually. Most of the Asian American celebs these days are Korean: Yul Kwon, Daniel Dae Kim, Bobby Lee, John Cho, Sung Kang, etc. There does, however, seem to be a rash of "angry Asian men" nowadays, not all of them Korean.



Anger, like any emotion, is either beneficial or detrimental, depending on how and when it's expressed. Acute anger is good ONLY if it is an appropriate response to a grave injustice. Acute anger is an immediate response, and because the response is immediate, the offender learns not to cross your path again. Acute anger has nothing to do with the severity of your response, but the swiftness of it.

But chronic anger is different. Chronic anger is not expressed immediately and reasonably, so it festers and debilitates the person who is angry. Passive-aggressive people suffer from chronic anger. Injustice collectors suffer from chronic anger.

Chronic anger is indicative of someone who is (or perceives himself to be) in a weak or low status position. After all, if you take offense to every perceived slight, then you must have a fragile ego.

So if you're an angry Asian man constantly bitching about how all Asian women are dating white guys, then that indicates low status and low self-esteem. It is indicates that you're a loser, because you think that you're a loser and now you've perpetuated this self-fulfilling prophecy.

So for all the angry Asian men out there: chill out and relax a bit. I know it's hokey, but read up on the Law of Attraction. Better yet, have lots of safe sex. You won't be so angry, and you'll be much more mellow.

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Bruce Lee Look-A-Like Playing Ping Pong

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Why "A. Magazine" Went the Way of the Dodo

I was looking around for images to stick on this blog, so I went through a pile of "A. Magazine" back issues. All I could up with was this screwball playing around with a lighter.

A. Magazine is now defunct, as are "Yolk," "Transpacific," "Rice" and the short-lived "SAM." So the only real Asian American magazines we have (that I can think of) are "Hyphen" and "Audrey." I'm sure there are others floating around, some specific to Asian ethnic groups.

So why aren't there more Asian American magazines? Let's explore a possible answer by "randomly" selecting an issue of A. Magazine, shall we? How about the February/March 2001 issue with Chef Ming Tsai on the cover?



oHH Kay. First off the cover offends my heterosexual Asian American male sensibilities, because Ming's holding a flower with chopsticks. I hope the guy or gal who approved this cover was fired.

Now let's go over the table of contents. Hmm... let's see... sex survey (sex is always good)... gay Asian men (no comment)... homeland politics (snooze)... 5 hot Asian American chefs (are these hot chef babes?)... and spring fashion preview (BORING).

Although it was great having Asian American magazines when they were around, the fact is that hardly anybody bought them, because nobody could relate to the article topics or to the Asians portrayed in these magazines. I may want to see and read about Asians, but not if we're going to talk about food, fashion and politics.

Plus, where's the humor? Tongue-in-cheek humor not only softens, but it also sharpens the overall tone of a magazine. It makes it more accessible, especially when you're talking to the masses about race and politics. All of these Asian American mags, including A. Magazine, had no humor and no charm.

To this day there is no magazine, publication or online magazine specific to the heterosexual Asian American male. Who knows if we'll get another Asian American magazine other than Hyphen, and frankly, who cares?

The Internet is the primary form of media, nowadays. Why buy a magazine when you can make your own daily mag by collecting various feeds on topics you like to read?

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The 3-5 Method

I love the board game "Risk." Risk is a classic board game about world domination. You teach yourself a lot about strategy and managing your resources. If I were to pick 4 classic board games to teach your child to develop a mindset that can deal with the real world, it'd be:

1) Risk (for strategy and tactics)
2) Monopoly (for resource and financial management)
3) Scrabble (for vocabulary)
4) Chess (for mental calculations)

Anyway, there's an episode of Seinfeld where Newman and Kramer are playing a days long game of Risk, and Jerry comments, "It's Risk. It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives."

Some people are like Kramer: a lot of crazy ideas that border on genius, but they got A.D.D. You know the ones I'm talking about. They'll go into a diatribe about the history of Chinese oppression in Tibet or preach against whale fishing by the Japanese, but they can't manage a checkbook or lay off the booze and weed. They don't have their shit together in their lives, so they choose to rally around causes on the other side of the world so they can swing their moral hammer.

I've talked a lot about focus in my previous blog entries, and focus comes in handy when it comes to choosing causes and pet projects to fight for. As some of you know, I train and write about strength training and bodybuilding in my spare time.

Bodybuilders know how to focus, because they are mindful of the moment they are in. People who don't like hardship will bitch and complain about an exercise being too painful and will stop the set prematurely. But a bodybuilder is totally focused on that burning sensation in his muscles. He embraces it thinking, "I LOVE working through this pain, because I know it will get me to my goal."

A bodybuilder focuses on the hard work in the gym that gets shit done. Here's a bodybuilding method that I've adapted to prioritize pet causes and the effective actions to be undertaken. It's called the 3-5 Method.

The premise is simple: keep lists of any kind to 3-5 bullet points, NO MORE. Anything beyond 3-5 is not relevant. Develop 2 lists: one list of 3-5 goals you want to accomplish no matter how long it takes, and one list of 3-5 goals that can easily be accomplished right away.

If you have a severe case of A.D.D. and more poor time management skills, then do 2 lists of 3. If you're focused and driven, then do 2 lists of 5.

The great thing about this method is that if you get bored with one project, then you can rotate to another project on your list that you're in the mood for. That way you can recharge, but not be pulled in 10 different directions.

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Attraction is Not a Choice

I recently had lunch with a friend, and she related how she had broken up with her boyfriend. She's a very intelligent girl and like anybody fresh from a break-up, she feels confused and somewhat betrayed. The reasons for the break-up didn't seem logical to her.

The thing is that intelligence, logic and rationality have NOTHING to do with attraction and maintaining relationships. Both men and women do stupid things when they are possessed by emotions such as passion, sexual tension and longing. There is a widely quoted phrase among PUA circles and that is this:

"Attraction is not a choice."

You can't help who you're attracted to and when you're attracted to someone, no matter how intelligently and rationally you behave and live your life. This is the reason why some women are attracted to bad boys or make bad choices with regards to their love life. This is why a man risks everything he's earned, including his marriage and his financial assets, to have an affair.

A perfect example of this is to ask an "open-minded," "liberal" woman if she would date or marry a short guy, and she will tell you, "No." Attraction to height is hard-wired into our genes and there is no getting around that. Another example would be to ask an "open-minded" male if he would date someone ugly, and he'll tell you "No" as well.

I took a lot of Asian American Studies courses, so I knew a lot of Asian American professors. With the exception of one couple, every Asian American professor I knew (male and female) that was attached was married to a Caucasian spouse. We're not talking about professors who masquerade as Asian American Studies professors and teach Amy Tan. We're talking about people who contributed to seminal Asian American works, like "The Big Aiiieeee!" We're talking about hardcore fighters for The Cause.

You would figure proponents for Asian American respect and causes would have married Asian American spouses, but like I said: attraction is not a choice. To deny that you feel attraction towards someone, even if it is based on bias and irrationality, is stupid. Acknowledge your desires, acknowledge your bias, because we all have them.

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Name That Asian

Believe it or not, this video is work safe.

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Delicious Journey

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The Rules of the Game are Always the Same

My 73 year old father-in-law is a widower who's recently gotten back into the dating game. Yes, that's right: old Asian men and women still date. Who knew?!

Anyway, I've written about my father-in-law before about how he's kept himself in good health. He drinks gallons of green tea and eats a grapefruit everyday. Whatever it is he's doing, it's working cuz he's got a full head of jet black hair. And because he's kept up with his appearances, he's a hit with the ladies at the senior center. My father-in-law was a professor back in Shanghai, and the Cantonese women at the center are enamored with his intellectual background as well.

The funny thing is that these seniors do a lot of dancing. They're addicted to dancing, so much so that they will hop around different senior centers. I guess senior centers have different hours. "Hey, a bunch of us are going to the Chinatown center. They're open till midnight."

Sounds like a bunch of teenagers club-hopping, huh? When it comes down to it, the rules of the game are always the same, no matter how old you are.

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Reader Mail: The Aussie Asian Speaks Again

G'day James,

It's the resident Asian-Australian saying hi. First thing, I've had a look at the AA T-shirt designs and my favourite is the design scheme used in the "bumper sticker". It's where the five elements are positioned horizontally above the alphabetic logo. As a suggestion, the popular designs would also look good on a coffee mug. Let me know if the coffee mug idea will proceed, since I'm quite far away. I would prefer to buy multiple items in one parcel.

Regarding the 10 Op Orders for the Alpha Asian: That's a pretty good guide, and I've printed out a copy for my desk at home and one in my drawer at work. I like to have stuff like this in my room to keep me on track and make sure I don't deviate from my goals.

It's also one of the reasons why I read your Strength and Alpha Asian blogs on a regular basis. Like you said in one of your posts, it's good to associate yourself with positive thinking people who are driven and hard working.

By the way, we've been following the US election this week, and from my point of view, the outcome of the US election is fantastic and is seen as the start of a new era for your country and its relations to the world. I have fond memories of my trip to the US almost 10 years ago, and I'm keen to see how the country fares in the next few years.


Regards,
The Aussie Asian


My Answer: Hey good to hear from you again Aussie Asian. If you're interested in a coffee mug with the Alpha Asian logo, then guess what?! Just because you asked, we'll put it on our online store. The mugs should be up by the end of this weekend.

I'm glad you like the Op Orders for the Alpha Asian. I try to live a very focused life, and these are some of the precepts that I try to follow to keep myself focused on accomplishing things.

As far as politics, I'm hoping for an Asian American president someday. I just hope it doesn't take 30+ years for us the way it took 30 years since the Civil Rights movement for America to be comfortable with an African American president.

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What the Future Holds

My wife works for a high school in Millbrae, a "suburban-city" south of San Francisco. The City of Millbrae is a somewhat affluent area where although Caucasians make up the majority (approximately 63%), Asians make up a significant 29% of the population. One day my wife was talking to a senior student, a Caucasian girl bound for an Ivy League college on the East Coast. The girl related how she felt strange going away to a place where people would not understand what a "cha siu bao" was.

My wife and I live in Daly City, another burb-city just south of San Francisco. Asians make up the majority in Daly City and constitute 52% of the population. If you walk into the Trader Joe's here in Daly City, you'll find a diverse clientele, Asian and non-Asian. Yet if you walk into Ranch 99 or any of the other popular Asian supermarkets here in Daly City, you will find non-Asians shop at these markets as well.

What the future holds for the U.S. is "transculturation." It is widely projected that people of color will constitute the majority of the US and European population by 2050. It's already happened here in the California, and it happened a long time ago in Hawaii.

But the media has a big fat disconnect with reality. You'd figure that Hollywood (an industry based in California where people of color make up the majority) would have more portrayals of people of color, but there aren't very many beyond African Americans. Hollywood lives in a bubble of it's own creation and exports this idea of a "whites only" reality to the rest of world. Unfortunately, we as people of color still gladly buy their white supremacist bullshit and perpetuate it.

Sometimes, however, Hollywood's fictional universe precludes reality. Actor Dennis Haysbert portrayed an African American president in the TV show "24" starting in 2002, and 6 years later: VOILA! We elect an African American president.

I'm not holding my breath, but eventually Hollywood and the American media will come around to presenting more varied portrayals of Asians and Asian Americans. I just hope it doesn't take another 30 years for us to get some respect and representation. The future of a transculturated America has already arrived. Hollywood just needs to represent it.

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The Difference Between Cats and Dogs

So here's a 6 month old kitten that my wife and I are fostering. We named him Micah, and even though is he small, Micah is fearless. Micah always wants to wrestle with our much bigger cat, Newbe. My wife and I have taken care of both cats and dogs, but we consider ourselves cat people. Not that we don't like dogs, but we identify more with the feline nature.

Do you know what the difference is between cats and dogs? While both animals behave in accordance with their instincts, a dog accommodates to its master, whereas an owner accommodates to its cat. A cat carries herself as if she were descended from a great heritage: lions and tigers. A cat knows his proud and regal lineage, and let's you know it too.

A dog is also descended from a great and noble ancestry: wolves. But whereas a cat remembers her heritage, a dog does not. Hence because of this cultural amnesia, he's vulnerable to having his behavior molded to fit the needs and wants of people.

So what are you? Are you a cat or or are you a dog?

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10 Op Orders for the Alpha Asian

These are some of the life lessons I try to live by. It took me years to figure some of this stuff out:

1) Be honest with yourself. It's one thing to be dishonest with others, but nobody respects a person who is dishonest with himself. Know what it is you ultimately want. Don't bullshit yourself and say you want one thing, when you really want another. Be very objective in your self-analysis.

2) Learn to focus, and focus on the right things. You may have a lot of lofty and grandiose dreams and ideas, but if you can't focus on doing the daily tasks that help accomplish those dreams, then you are of no use. Learn to focus on a few activities, and do those activities well. Just make sure that whatever activities you are engaging in are meaningful and will result in measureable and desireable outcomes.

3) No regrets, no guilt. I don't ever feel guilty. You know why? Because I don't act stupid in the first place. If you feel guilty, then it means you were too stupid to refrain from performing the regretful act. Guilt helps no one after the fact.

4) Minimize the negative, maximize the positive. The Chinese metaphor for life is war. This means life is always lived strategically and tactically, and to do this, you must always minimize the negative and maximize the positive.

5) Commit to your goal, not your methods. Life is a series of battles, however, and each battle is situational. Learn when your strength can become a liability and when your weakness can be transmuted into a strength. Go with the flow. What is important is your goal, not your methods.

6) When you commit, commit totally. When you make a choice and commit to a course of action, perform the action with confidence. Commit fully, and you will succeed. Hesitate, and you will fail.

7) Reward well, punish swiftly. Avoid passive-aggressive behavior. Nobody respects a person who stews over an incident, but did not have the confidence to address the perpetrator the moment it happened.

8) Always prepare, always be prepared. Don't allow yourself and your loved ones to be placed in bad situations. Take ownership and avoid bad situations in the first place. Win every battle before it is fought.

9) Be information dense, word sparse. Words carry more weight, when one speaks less. If you want to get your point across, then be direct. If you want to listen, then be vague.

10) Do what you like. Be happy, stupid! Why make yourself miserable? What good are you if you're the human equivalent of Eeyore? Don't wallow in self-pity. Act. Do what you like.

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Four Exercise Personality Types

How you react to a stress, whether it be physical or mental, chronic or acute, reveals a lot about a person. As a trainer, I've come across 4 distinct personalities with regards to workout ethic. The funny thing is these 4 distinct workout personalities are found outside of the gym as well and permeate all aspects of society.

1) The Yeah-But: This is the person who looks for every excuse not to do whatever it is you recommend that he or she do. Trainer says, "To lean down, you'll need to diet."

Yeah-But says, "Yeah... but... I don't want to diet. I just want to exercise the weight off."

I purposely avoid training these people, because they rationalize a way to lose before every battle in their life.

2) The Intellectual Masturbator: This person suffers from analysis paralysis. He would rather learn and yak about the theory of exercise and diet, instead of hitting the gym and pushing his body to its highest potential. Although I always encourage questions and clarifications, the intel masturbator will question everything in order to stall the program. These folks need a beeping countdown timer to make sure they stay on track in their workout.

3) The Balls to the Walls Trainee: This person is the complete opposite to both 1 and 2. He or she will actually do more than is recommended - extra workouts, extra exercises, more reps, more weight, etc.

While this person's drive is admirable, his foresight and ability to follow directions sucks. The concept of 2 steps forward, 1 step back is foreign to this person. It's not about how hard you train in the gym, it is whether or not you obtain your physique and strength goals. There are times when you have to pull back in the intensity of your training to allow your body to supercompensate. And that means sticking to the program. No more, no less.

4) The Alpha Asian: My favorite exercise personality. Once shown, he or she follows the program to a T. This person clarifies any ambiguous aspects of a program, accepts the expertise of the trainer (if the trainer demonstrates him or herself to be an expert), and just does it.

Whereas the Balls-to-the-Walls trainee focuses on his motivation and drive to solve all problems, the Alpha Asian focuses on method and results. The Alpha Asian personality is quite rare in any field.

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Vote for Your Favorite Alpha-Asian T-Shirt Design

You know the saying, "Behind every great man there's a great woman." Well, that's definitely true in my case. My wife and I always joke that had we not gotten married, I'd be lying in the gutter right now. You know you've met the love of your life when a woman transforms you into a better version of yourself.



So I was playing around with the idea of a having a T-shirt for this blog. I had this vision of what I wanted, but it was really my wife who translated my vision into some really cool T-shirt designs.



But I'd really like to know what YOU, the reader think. I need your help to determine which designs to put in print. Here are the choices:



#1





#2





#3





#4







I also thought about having 5 different shirts, each with different element:



#5 "Earth Element"





#6 "Fire Element"





#7 "Metal Element"





#8 "Water Element"





#9 "Wood Element"

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Free Your Mind

The one thing I hate that's prevalent in PUA interracial pickup is the white worship and seeing women as prizes. Nevertheless, this video does address the limiting beliefs people of color have, not just in dating, but all aspects of life and happiness. If you bitch a being a loser, then you ARE a loser. You can't fight an enemy that's colonized your mind. You have to let go of limiting beliefs (such as racial stereotypes imposed on you), quit psychoanalyzing that shit and focus on actions and gameplans that will get you what you want.

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Are You A Social Networking Slut?

Are you a social networking slut? Do you scour the “Activity Partners” and “Groups” sections of Craig’s List in the hopes of reviving your near dead social life? Are you a member of at least five MeetUp groups? Have you started your own dining group, hiking group or movie group? Have you joined a book group, come to the meetings and not read the book, because you were busy attending other groups?

YOU, my friend, are a social networking slut. I should know. I’m a recovering slut.

People join social networking groups for various reasons:

1) They just moved to the area and are looking to meet new people. These folks are usually pretty normal and open to trying new things.

2) They just got divorced and are looking to meet new people. Needless to say, these folks have emotional baggage. They’re OK. They just need three years of therapy.

3) They’re socially awkward and are looking to meet new people. These aren’t bad folks. They’re just dorks and embarrassing to hang out with, that’s all.

4) They’re single and looking to “meet” new people. If you’re looking to hook up with a gorgeous babe or a tall, confident gentleman, then you will be sorely disappointed (see points 2 and 3).

Nobody starts out joining every social networking group on the Internet. Everybody starts out with one group, attends one of the outings, like a dinner or a concert. Some people have fun and attend some more events, and others are just fuddy-duddies and you never see them again.

Social networking sluts, however, have that addictive gene. They feel alive meeting new people and doing new things. To them, social groups are like potato chips or pussy cats: you just can’t have one.

Next thing you know, you’re always referring to your calendar, you’ve got a hundred phone numbers on your cell phone, and you’re constantly checking your email inbox to see what your next event is going to be.

The funny thing is that as a social networking slut, you’ll run into other sluts. “Hey, didn’t I see you at the Scrabble club?” That’s when you know you’ve explored the entire group circuit in your area.

Next comes: BURNOUT. After a while, you realize that you had a life before joining these groups. You had hobbies, interests and ambitions. You had friends (well, at least I do), and you try to reconnect with them.

Looking back as a social networking slut, I would say it’s been a great series of experiences. I’ve met a lot of interesting people and done a lot of cool activities. I still attend some events, and I still check my email for the next big thing (a word of advice to recovering Yahoo group and MeetUp sluts: unsubscribe yourself from the email notifications). But my life doesn’t revolve around these events anymore.

People join social networking groups not just to connect with others but to also connect with themselves. If you’re looking to meet new and interesting people, then give social groups a try. Just don’t go overboard.

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