Vote for Your Favorite Alpha-Asian T-Shirt Design

You know the saying, "Behind every great man there's a great woman." Well, that's definitely true in my case. My wife and I always joke that had we not gotten married, I'd be lying in the gutter right now. You know you've met the love of your life when a woman transforms you into a better version of yourself.



So I was playing around with the idea of a having a T-shirt for this blog. I had this vision of what I wanted, but it was really my wife who translated my vision into some really cool T-shirt designs.



But I'd really like to know what YOU, the reader think. I need your help to determine which designs to put in print. Here are the choices:



#1





#2





#3





#4







I also thought about having 5 different shirts, each with different element:



#5 "Earth Element"





#6 "Fire Element"





#7 "Metal Element"





#8 "Water Element"





#9 "Wood Element"

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Free Your Mind

The one thing I hate that's prevalent in PUA interracial pickup is the white worship and seeing women as prizes. Nevertheless, this video does address the limiting beliefs people of color have, not just in dating, but all aspects of life and happiness. If you bitch a being a loser, then you ARE a loser. You can't fight an enemy that's colonized your mind. You have to let go of limiting beliefs (such as racial stereotypes imposed on you), quit psychoanalyzing that shit and focus on actions and gameplans that will get you what you want.

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Are You A Social Networking Slut?

Are you a social networking slut? Do you scour the “Activity Partners” and “Groups” sections of Craig’s List in the hopes of reviving your near dead social life? Are you a member of at least five MeetUp groups? Have you started your own dining group, hiking group or movie group? Have you joined a book group, come to the meetings and not read the book, because you were busy attending other groups?

YOU, my friend, are a social networking slut. I should know. I’m a recovering slut.

People join social networking groups for various reasons:

1) They just moved to the area and are looking to meet new people. These folks are usually pretty normal and open to trying new things.

2) They just got divorced and are looking to meet new people. Needless to say, these folks have emotional baggage. They’re OK. They just need three years of therapy.

3) They’re socially awkward and are looking to meet new people. These aren’t bad folks. They’re just dorks and embarrassing to hang out with, that’s all.

4) They’re single and looking to “meet” new people. If you’re looking to hook up with a gorgeous babe or a tall, confident gentleman, then you will be sorely disappointed (see points 2 and 3).

Nobody starts out joining every social networking group on the Internet. Everybody starts out with one group, attends one of the outings, like a dinner or a concert. Some people have fun and attend some more events, and others are just fuddy-duddies and you never see them again.

Social networking sluts, however, have that addictive gene. They feel alive meeting new people and doing new things. To them, social groups are like potato chips or pussy cats: you just can’t have one.

Next thing you know, you’re always referring to your calendar, you’ve got a hundred phone numbers on your cell phone, and you’re constantly checking your email inbox to see what your next event is going to be.

The funny thing is that as a social networking slut, you’ll run into other sluts. “Hey, didn’t I see you at the Scrabble club?” That’s when you know you’ve explored the entire group circuit in your area.

Next comes: BURNOUT. After a while, you realize that you had a life before joining these groups. You had hobbies, interests and ambitions. You had friends (well, at least I do), and you try to reconnect with them.

Looking back as a social networking slut, I would say it’s been a great series of experiences. I’ve met a lot of interesting people and done a lot of cool activities. I still attend some events, and I still check my email for the next big thing (a word of advice to recovering Yahoo group and MeetUp sluts: unsubscribe yourself from the email notifications). But my life doesn’t revolve around these events anymore.

People join social networking groups not just to connect with others but to also connect with themselves. If you’re looking to meet new and interesting people, then give social groups a try. Just don’t go overboard.

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The Biggest Distractors in People's Lives

Distractions. Everybody has distractions in their lives that keep them from achieving their goals, whether it be physique goals or any other goal in life. Some "distractions" really aren't distractions but obligations, such as family ("Damn it, woman! If wasn't for you and the kids, I'd be Mr. Olympia by now!") and career ("Hey, you want to join the office lotto pool? If we win, we're sooo outta here.")

But some things are just a big fat waste of time. I'm guilty of all three of these:

1) TV- I used to watch lots of TV, but now I can't stand to watch any more than 2 hours a day. It has to serve a purpose for me to watch it, which is why I watch History Channel documentaries a lot. I do watch comedy standup to decompress, and reality shows to observe human behavior. "I Survived A Japanese Game Show" is one I've been watching lately. Bottom line is not to watch TV during the day, because it will just chew up your time. Watch it in the evening when you want to relax.

2) The Internet- I think Internet addiction is a real phenomenon. Prior to our weekend trip to the OC, my wife jokingly asked if I needed to bring the laptop. Checking your email, surfing the net and blogging take up quite a bit of time, and it feels like you're getting stuff done. But in reality, the Web is just chock full of distractions. I just don't get social networking sites. Great way to find people, but boy, is that a waste of time. If you want to keep in touch with me, then just send me an email. Plus lots of people post stuff in forums. I like the Yelp forum, because it's active and shows the entire thread. Everybody has short and to the point responses. The Internet can be a great resource where you can write books, create sites and voice your opinion, but you can also waste a lot of time with frivolous stuff.

3) Books- This might surprise you, but sometimes books are big distractors for nerds. Unless you write fiction in some form (movie/TV script, graphic novel, etc.), fiction books are some of the biggest distractors for sappy nerds. Who wants to read about life? Go out and live it. Women tend to fall in this trap and form book clubs (even more distraction). I used to read a lot of sci fi as a kid, but now I read a lot of nonfiction books on topics that further my interests: health, marketing, psychology, Internet trends and of course, bodybuilding and strength training. But there is only so much reading you can do. You have to go out there and apply your research. I think people who read too much use research preparation to stall and procrastinate. What helps me is to practice a little bit of speed reading and go through books at a faster rate. Take what's useful and move on.

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The Notorious MSG

Not only are these guys are comic geniuses, but their music is damn good. I thought rap was dead, but their music breathes new life into the genre. This critical praise probably best sums up their style:



"MSG is both an outlet for their rage at the system and a tool to raise awareness of the difficulties facing the Asian restaurant worker. But as you may have guessed, MSG are not hip hop activists. Channeling Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, NWA, and Cypress Hill all at once, they are satirists, brilliantly imploding notions of race, ethnicity and the American Dream."

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Parry Shen in "The Tivo"

Got this from the Angry Asian Man site. Just in time for Halloween:

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First Asian Boy

If I have to pull out every Asian stereotype (like this guy) to land this girl, then I'll do it!

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Frank Chin: The Original Angry Asian Man

So back in college, I majored in psychology and minored in Asian American Studies. I identified so much with what I learned in Asian American Studies that I went to grad school and majored in Ethnic Studies (focusing on Asian Americans). My education was like the scene in The Matrix where Laurence Fishburne welcomes Keanu to "the real world." Taking the courses, studying history, social psychology and inter-cultural dynamics as it related to Asian Americans was like taking a veil off my eyes. You see through racist BS a lot better.

Unfortunately, I never finished my graduate degree, and of course, the major didn't help at all in jumpstarting a career. But what it did do for me was to give me a mental framework and a language to articulate my anger over injustices against Asians and Asian Americans. And if you can articulate your anger, sorrow or joy over certain issues, then you're better able to address them. Even though my major was useless as far as finding me a job, my time in college and grad school was useful as therapy... Really expensive therapy.

Here's a classic Frank Chin essay that will blow the virtual reality goggles off your eyes: Racist Love.

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Recommended Books for the Alpha Asian

Back in college I majored in psychology and minored in Asian American Studies, so I've always had a thing for self-improvement. The key to improving all aspects of your life is improving your mindset and decision making. Here are some life coaching books for the Alpha Asian:

Awaken the Giant Within- This book by Tony Robbins was the very first self-help book that I ever read, and to this day it still has very profound effects on my mindset. Tony takes neurolinguistic programming to the next level and goes over how you choose your words can shape your beliefs and how beliefs will steer your course of actions. Tony goes over the mechanism of change, and how to use it to make yourself a better person and to make your life better. The great thing about this book is that it goes over SPECIFIC actions to change your mindset, and not vague bullshit philosophy.

The Secret, a.k.a. The Law of Attraction- Do yourself a favor and just rent the DVD "The Secret." This will save you from reading any of the books on "The Law of Attraction." The Law of Attraction is quite simple: what you think of attracts what you get. In psychology, it's widely known that people will mirror each other's emotional states. So if you're a depressing bore, then people interacting with you will display negative emotion and body language. The Law of Attraction takes it further into metaphysics and states that your thoughts will shape the course of the Universe. So if you think shit happens to you all the time, then guess what? It does! If you are more happy and positive, then good things flow your way. This DVD serves as a nice adjunct to "Awaken the Giant Within."

The 80/20 Principle- Mark Twain once said, "Put all your eggs in one basket, AND WATCH THAT BASKET!" The secret to success is be damn good at something people give a shit about. If you can do that, then people will pay you big money for your specialty.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad- All of the "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" books are the same, and frankly, don't give you any concrete advice on how to make money and be rich. What this book does go over is how do you think of money and more generally, what is your learning style? Most of us were taught in school, and school teaches you that failure is not good. But in the real world, failure is how you learn and improve yourself. This is why people who are academically smart aren't necessarily the wealthiest people, and why there are a lot of dumb rich people. Just read any of the books in the series, and the author Robert Kiyosaki will drill it into your head that your money should work for you and not the other way around.

Influencer- Changing yourself is one thing, but how do you influence others for positive change? People always rely on lecture and debate to influence people, but logic and rationality, no matter eloquently laid out, don't move people to change. Yet people are taught in school that this should be the primary method of communication and influence. Nobody wants to listen a lecture. Experience is what changes people. Not everybody can go through what you experienced, so vivid and focused story telling is the next best thing.

The 4 Hour Work Week- Rethink your life's course. Why delay your retirement, when you can enjoy mini-retirements through out your life? You may not quit your job and spend a year in Thailand after reading this book, but you will rethink how you're spending your life. The most quoted line from this book: "It is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission."

The Definitive Book of Body Language- I've read quite a few books on body language over the years, but this recent one by Allan Pease is quite good. Not only will you be able to discern the body language of others, but you'll be cognizant of how you present yourself. Adjusting your body language will adjust your emotional state. So if you want to be confident, then take up a confident body posture.

Refuse to Choose- Do you want to do one thing and do that for the rest of your life? I sure as hell don't, and you shouldn't either. Most people are multi-faceted and have multiple interests. The problem comes when people suffer from "goal paralysis," when they dabble in everything but accomplish nothing. Career coach Barbara Sher goes over how you can pursue multiple interests and live a a life of variety and accomplishment.

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Reader Mail: Asian American Activism

So I got a question from another blogger: "Are you an activist? Do you do stuff outside of the blog? I heard your Better Asian Man podcast. Good stuff."


My Answer: I am for "The Cause" (my friends and I use this code term for Asian American causes), but I am not an activist. I dislike the terms "activism" or "activists," because hard core activists make The Cause too personal. They become so shrill, that nobody listens to them anymore. I would rather put my faith in an Asian American who is for The Cause and has a background in marketing, business or psychology than an activist who has extreme dedication to The Cause but no persuasion skills.

People are moved by stories (particularly ones that offer hope at the end) and talent (see previous post), and they are not moved by theoretical lectures, no matter how rationally the points are laid out. A really good book to read on this topic is Influencer. In a sense, this blog that I run is meant to show the stories and the talents of Asian Americans and Asians all over the world.

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Reader Mail: Working Out to Gain Weight

For those of you who don't know my background, I'm a trainer and a writer for various print and online strength and bodybuilding magazines. Every so often I get reader mail from Asian lifters who talk about Asian genetics being the limiting factor. Genetics be damned! Here's one reader question and my response:



"I am Asian, and I was skinny for a very long time until last year when I put on a lot of fat. My height is 5'7" and I weigh 160 lbs. with a 33 inch waist. I have been on this diet for more than 2 weeks now, but I'm not gaining any weight at all:



Meal 1 (6:30 AM)

-one and a half scoops of whey protein concentrate

-2 cups of milk

-1 banana



Meal 2 (7:30 AM)

-1 serve of oatmeal



Meal 3 (10:30 AM)

-Whole grain Rice Cakes w/ peanut butter

-one and a half scoops of whey protein concentrate



Meal 4 (12 Noon)

-150 grams Chicken breast grilled

-4 slices of whole grain bread

-Avocado



Meal 5 (3:30 PM)

-7 egg whites 1 egg york

-2 cups of milk

-one scoop of ice cream

-mixed berries

-2 slices of whole grain toasts w/ butter/peanut butter



Exercise (4 pm - 5:30pm)



Meal 6 (6:30 PM)

-1 cup of brown rice or whole meal pasta or sweet potato

-mixed vegetables

-1 griled steak or chicken breast or turkey breast or salmon



Meal 7

-One tub of Cottage cheese



Exercise (9:30 PM-10:30 PM)



Meal 8 (10:45 PM)

-2 scoops of whey concentrate



"I don't always follow strictly, but most the time I strive to eat as planned. I generally weight train once a week all upper body exercises, and in the afternoon every weekday i usually do breakdancing. It's sorta aerobics, lots of head spins and other power moves from 4 pm to 5:30 pm.



"Every night at 9:30 that's when I get home. I do my daily exercises which consist of 2 sets of pullups to failure (about 8 reps), 2 sets of handstand pushups(about 25 reps) to failure and 2 sets of decline situps (about 100 reps) to failure.



"Should I drop breakdancing and evening exerices and join a gym? Is there nothing bad with my diet? Honestly I never thought I would put on much muscle, mostly because I am Asian. But when I see you I think,'Umm... maybe I still can?'



"Anyways, thank you very much. I look forward to your advice!!"



- S. Zhang





My Answer: Wow, Zhang, I'm surprised you don't puke during your breakdancing sessions from all the food you eat. At 5'7" with a 33 inch waist, I would definitely agree that you have put on a lot of fat. The problem is you're eating A LOT, but you're not strength training enough to put on muscle. 2 sets of pull-ups, handstand pushup and decline sit-ups doesn't do jack shit for gaining muscle. You don't have to stop breakdancing if that's what you love doing, but either join a gym or buy a 300 lb free weight set with an adjustable bench and squat rack.



As a breakdancer, you favor body weight exercises. But with the exception of pull-ups, most bodyweight exercises won't induce enough hypertrophy in your muscles for you to gain size. Keep the breakdancing, but when you hit the gym, do some powerlifting moves in addition to your pull-ups: deadlifts, bench press, squats. Follow a 5x5 program for all the exercises, including your pull-ups.

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