1) Avoid passive-aggressive behavior. I hate to say this, but Asians tend to be very passive-aggressive. Culturally, we've learned not to be directly confrontational, because a direct confrontation with someone of higher status, power or authority could have painful and even deadly repercussions.
But in Western society, passive-aggressive behavior is seen as weak and untrustworthy. Although you see a lot of passive-agressive backstabbing behavior in American reality shows like "Big Brother." In general, however, passive-aggressiveness shows that you were too slow and too timid to respond to transgressions with enough strength and quickness. Be direct when you can, and avoid passive-aggressive behavior.
2) You MUST defend yourself and your kind. In "The Apprentice," Donald Trump would always fire the guy or gal who didn't speak up for him or herself in the boardroom. Trump's reasoning is "Why the hell should I hire someone to defend my interests, if this person cannot even defend himself?"
When you or your family or friends are attacked, you must defend yourself. If you do not defend yourself, your loved ones or your ethnic group, then no one respects you, your loved ones or your ethnic group. Why should they respect you if you don't even respect yourself?
Asians and non-Asians have very different responses to being bullied. Here's a scenario that's been played out at a playground or two: If an Asian boy were bullied at school by a non-Asian boy, then the Asian kid tends to shut down and not respond. He tends not to give any verbal or bodily cues that he's going to defend himself. In his mind he's thinking, "I'm not giving you any trouble, so back off."
In response, the non-Asian kid sees the lack of defensive cues as weak and proceeds to pick on him some more. Even though the anger is escalating within the Asian kid, he does not show any signs of this anger until the very last minute. By then the Asian kid goes all out and starts pummeling the other, who is caught completely by surprise. Afterwards, the two shake hands and become friends.
Sound familiar? Nip bad behavior in the bud and defend yourself immediately.
3) Actions speak louder than words. Americans and certain European groups tend to talk a lot about what they supposedly are, what they've supposedly done and what they supposedly will do. Asians see such behavior as bragging and consider it arrogant. For Asians, actions speak louder than words. Who we are should be fucking apparent.
Humans are hardwired to detect deception, because detection of deception is vital to survival. Nobody gives a fuck what you say you are or what you say you've done. Did you do what you were supposed to do or not? People are constantly comparing your actions with your words, and if the two don't match, then everyone knows that you're full of shit.
So don't be a barking chihuahua. Do, don't talk.
4) Don't devalue yourself. Asians are notorious for being Uncle Toms. They have this awful habit of putting themselves down or putting other Asians down. I cannot stand people who constantly refer to their ethnicity or somebody else's ethnicity. If someone mentions my race and there's no justifiable context for mentioning it, then it means this person is uncomfortable with me being Asian, so much so that he or she mentions it without any prompting.
If you're Asian and you refer to your Asian heritage without any conversational reference, then YOU have a problem with your ethnicity. Non-Asians crack enough jokes about Asians already, so don't encourage that shit by cracking racist self-deprecating jokes in front of them.
Anyway, I've fulfilled my daily quota of cuss words. Practice these principles daily and don't get discouraged if you can't follow them a 100% of the time. Just focus on success and build on it when you can.
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