Let's Talk Relationships ~ posted by Asian Female

Oh of course a woman would suggest this... I can see all the men out there rolling their eyes as they read the title of this entry and decide to skip over it. Well, I heard an interesting statistic this morning that said 4 out of 9 relationships will end by February 2009. Supposedly, this is because people feel empowered by the New Year's resolution tradition and thus everyone begins the year by reassessing their lives.

Quite frankly, I don't think there is enough talk about how to maintain a good relationship. What I come across most frequently is advice on how to pick up women or other dating tips. Guys will ask each other if they "scored" but rarely will guys have an in-depth discussion about their long-term relationship. Men (and women) become far less interested in making a relationship good once it goes into the long-term maintenance phase. But why? How do you get better at a relationship without having people (that you don't have to pay) to turn to?

Coming from a traditional Chinese upbringing, I didn't have too much role modeling either. My parents had a marriage of convenience and their secret to a long marriage was to JUST CHUG ALONG. The only advice I got was from my dad who told me: Chinese people don't have sex unless they're married and even that doesn't happen until after they graduate from college. I'm sure if I had a brother, he wouldn't be getting any better advice either. And that's not even relationship advice -- that's the don't-be-stupid-and-get-pregnant advice.

If the statistic is true, that 4 out 9 relationships will end by February 2009, then I propose, for the other 5 out of 9 of us, to put our relationships first -- not our jobs, not our parents, not our children, not our you-fill-in-the-blank. After all, when we're 70 and senile, our jobs won't matter, our parents won't be there and our children will have lives of their own. What we will hopefully have is a loving partner, who we still enjoy the company of, after 50+ years.