Friday, 9 July 2010
Thursday, 8 July 2010
The other weekend, I ran into a woman who worked for the Illinois State Police in the human resources department. She told me that she had gotten her doctorate in psychology and since I have some interest in it, albeit from a more spiritual bent, we had a nice talk about Jungian archetypes, personality types, self-understanding and self-knowledge. One thing we agreed upon, since we're both in public service, is that the the bureaucracy is broken and that how we deal with it is dependent upon understanding who we are dealing with. In addition, we both were in agreement that you can't ever change anyone; instead, you have to change your response to that person. We both laughed because we finished each others' sentence. And that we both talked about how we seemed to know ourselves pretty well.
I thought I'd take the time to post a thread about the topic of self-knowledge. In my younger days, I use to think that psychology was too theoretical, cold and clinical. And a lot this self-help pop psychology was pure crap. I suspect that some of it really is crap but that there are some things that really are useful and helpful. But I think it's actually rather helpful in the work place, which I'll get to a little later. The best part is getting to know yourself---honestly. So what does that actually mean? It means knowing how and why you react the way you do to certain circumstances. You can lie to others but you cannot lie to yourself.
A good place to start is http://www.personalitypage.com/html/info.html. It has a nice Jungian view of personality archetypes and the Myer-Briggs types. They describe 16 personality types: http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html
Carl Jung
But keep in mind that the personality types described are not set in stone. There is no cookie cutter mold. Rather, these are general tendencies that people have and they can also have traits from other personality types. Most people think of personality types in terms of introvert and extrovert but there's much more going on inside people. It's actually kind of fun to look at the list of personalities and find the one that best describes you. Of course, it's equally as interesting to take a personality exam. When I did this some years ago, I was actually surprised by how accurately the personality type described me.
It's good to know your personality type because you can therefore confront the weaknesses you might be afraid to address. It forces you to examine yourself in a different light. At the very least, you have an awareness about the things you might want to improve upon as an individual. And this is important in the workplace because you can anticipate and prepare for being placed in a work situation or project which will exacerbate your weaker qualities.
You might work on a group assignment in the office where some people are naturally the take charge types. And that might rub you the wrong way if you're a more creative, intuitive type and you have some people telling you what to do---and you think it's all wrong. But assessing your co-workers personality type, you can sort of figure out where the conflicts will be and how best to avoid them. Remember: you can't control or change someone but you can change the way you react to them. If you know a certain co-worker will not understand a certain viewpoint because it clashes with how they view and process the world, change the way the viewpoint is presented so that it's something that fits in with how they do see the world. This is especially good to know if your personality types will fundamentally clash, if they're polar opposites. The point here is to avoid conflicts and confrontations.
I once had a supervisor who was quite possibly the worst I've ever had. He was spiteful, he gossiped about and bad mouthed the staff behind their backs, he couldn't give you guidance and was impatient all the time. He made life hell for me and my co-workers. He was someone you could never quite please. Had I known more about personality types back then, I'd have certainly defused situations by having more than one draft assignment to turn in. I would've anticipated that he might not like the product so I would have had several other products to turn in if he didn't like the original one. Furthermore, I'd have accepted that the problem isn't me, wasn't me, but that it's him. If I'd had pegged his personality type, I would have been better equipped to engage him on a much different approach to problem solving that would have lessened the impatience, the quick judgments, and him being dismissive of my work. Still, it wouldn't have made working for the guy any less of a hell, but you take your workplace victories where you can.
I thought I'd take the time to post a thread about the topic of self-knowledge. In my younger days, I use to think that psychology was too theoretical, cold and clinical. And a lot this self-help pop psychology was pure crap. I suspect that some of it really is crap but that there are some things that really are useful and helpful. But I think it's actually rather helpful in the work place, which I'll get to a little later. The best part is getting to know yourself---honestly. So what does that actually mean? It means knowing how and why you react the way you do to certain circumstances. You can lie to others but you cannot lie to yourself.
A good place to start is http://www.personalitypage.com/html/info.html. It has a nice Jungian view of personality archetypes and the Myer-Briggs types. They describe 16 personality types: http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html
Carl Jung
But keep in mind that the personality types described are not set in stone. There is no cookie cutter mold. Rather, these are general tendencies that people have and they can also have traits from other personality types. Most people think of personality types in terms of introvert and extrovert but there's much more going on inside people. It's actually kind of fun to look at the list of personalities and find the one that best describes you. Of course, it's equally as interesting to take a personality exam. When I did this some years ago, I was actually surprised by how accurately the personality type described me.
It's good to know your personality type because you can therefore confront the weaknesses you might be afraid to address. It forces you to examine yourself in a different light. At the very least, you have an awareness about the things you might want to improve upon as an individual. And this is important in the workplace because you can anticipate and prepare for being placed in a work situation or project which will exacerbate your weaker qualities.
You might work on a group assignment in the office where some people are naturally the take charge types. And that might rub you the wrong way if you're a more creative, intuitive type and you have some people telling you what to do---and you think it's all wrong. But assessing your co-workers personality type, you can sort of figure out where the conflicts will be and how best to avoid them. Remember: you can't control or change someone but you can change the way you react to them. If you know a certain co-worker will not understand a certain viewpoint because it clashes with how they view and process the world, change the way the viewpoint is presented so that it's something that fits in with how they do see the world. This is especially good to know if your personality types will fundamentally clash, if they're polar opposites. The point here is to avoid conflicts and confrontations.
I once had a supervisor who was quite possibly the worst I've ever had. He was spiteful, he gossiped about and bad mouthed the staff behind their backs, he couldn't give you guidance and was impatient all the time. He made life hell for me and my co-workers. He was someone you could never quite please. Had I known more about personality types back then, I'd have certainly defused situations by having more than one draft assignment to turn in. I would've anticipated that he might not like the product so I would have had several other products to turn in if he didn't like the original one. Furthermore, I'd have accepted that the problem isn't me, wasn't me, but that it's him. If I'd had pegged his personality type, I would have been better equipped to engage him on a much different approach to problem solving that would have lessened the impatience, the quick judgments, and him being dismissive of my work. Still, it wouldn't have made working for the guy any less of a hell, but you take your workplace victories where you can.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Saturday, 3 July 2010
So I was watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle the other night. There's an elevator scene where Harold has approach anxiety. Harold can't think of a thing to say to this beautiful Latina girl in the elevator. In fact he doesn't say anything at all.
Many people, regardless of race, will have approach anxiety when they are put on the spot. Women have a hard time empathizing with this, because socially they're not required to make the initial contact. Sure they send the signals, but sending a flirtatious body language cue is much easier than approaching an attractive stranger and gaining their interest.
I know 2 guys with 2 very different approaches to women. I've written about guy #1 before. We'll call him Mr. Bohemian, since he lives that type of lifestyle. He is the most unassuming man you will meet, but he is a friendly and passionate person. He likes what he likes and he doesn't care what people think about what he likes.
One thing that he likes a lot of is women. Just by looking at him, you wouldn't think that he was some suave debonair Casanova. He's an average Asian guy, if there is such a thing. And yet he routinely dates and lives with attractive women ten years younger than him. I don't think he's been without a woman or two (or three) for longer than a few months. In fact, at one point, he was practically begging his last girlfriend to move out of his apartment and hit the road.
His latest girlfriend is a young attractive 20 something. I remember meeting her for the first time at the coffee shop she worked at. I could tell by the rolling of her eyes that she was annoyed with Mr. Bohemian when he flirted with her. But he just kept at it. He kept going to that coffee shop, drinking that crap watered down coffee day in and day out.
Then one day he and coffee girl showed up together at a department function, and we were all astounded that coffee girl relented and was now head over heels for him. Now they live together in his cramped studio apartment, and he's complaining that she's too clingy and calling him too much.
The other guy I'll call Mr. Musket. Mr. Musket didn't date until he was in his 30's. You would think with all the smack that he talks up with the guys that he dated around. But then I noticed he would freeze up whenever there was an attractive woman around. He had classic approach anxiety. He was a good guy overall, but Mr. Musket just didn't know how to talk to women. Didn't matter how much prompting by the other guys he got, he would just freeze up like a deer in the headlights.
Eventually though, Mr. Musket did find somebody and is now happily married. Bottom line is he ended up happy and that's what counts. So what if you're a virgin until your 40. Maybe it just takes you a little longer you to mature and find the right person.
A lot of Asian guys are down on themselves, because they feel like their Asian-ness is somehow holding them back in the dating scene. Or they feel like nice guys finish last, so they start acting with a false sense of bravado.
But I can tell you that both of these guys are 1) Asian and 2) extremely nice guys. The only difference is one tries repeatedly and the other didn't try much at all. The only cure for approach anxiety is to try, and if you fail, then keep failing forward.
Many people, regardless of race, will have approach anxiety when they are put on the spot. Women have a hard time empathizing with this, because socially they're not required to make the initial contact. Sure they send the signals, but sending a flirtatious body language cue is much easier than approaching an attractive stranger and gaining their interest.
I know 2 guys with 2 very different approaches to women. I've written about guy #1 before. We'll call him Mr. Bohemian, since he lives that type of lifestyle. He is the most unassuming man you will meet, but he is a friendly and passionate person. He likes what he likes and he doesn't care what people think about what he likes.
One thing that he likes a lot of is women. Just by looking at him, you wouldn't think that he was some suave debonair Casanova. He's an average Asian guy, if there is such a thing. And yet he routinely dates and lives with attractive women ten years younger than him. I don't think he's been without a woman or two (or three) for longer than a few months. In fact, at one point, he was practically begging his last girlfriend to move out of his apartment and hit the road.
His latest girlfriend is a young attractive 20 something. I remember meeting her for the first time at the coffee shop she worked at. I could tell by the rolling of her eyes that she was annoyed with Mr. Bohemian when he flirted with her. But he just kept at it. He kept going to that coffee shop, drinking that crap watered down coffee day in and day out.
Then one day he and coffee girl showed up together at a department function, and we were all astounded that coffee girl relented and was now head over heels for him. Now they live together in his cramped studio apartment, and he's complaining that she's too clingy and calling him too much.
The other guy I'll call Mr. Musket. Mr. Musket didn't date until he was in his 30's. You would think with all the smack that he talks up with the guys that he dated around. But then I noticed he would freeze up whenever there was an attractive woman around. He had classic approach anxiety. He was a good guy overall, but Mr. Musket just didn't know how to talk to women. Didn't matter how much prompting by the other guys he got, he would just freeze up like a deer in the headlights.
Eventually though, Mr. Musket did find somebody and is now happily married. Bottom line is he ended up happy and that's what counts. So what if you're a virgin until your 40. Maybe it just takes you a little longer you to mature and find the right person.
A lot of Asian guys are down on themselves, because they feel like their Asian-ness is somehow holding them back in the dating scene. Or they feel like nice guys finish last, so they start acting with a false sense of bravado.
But I can tell you that both of these guys are 1) Asian and 2) extremely nice guys. The only difference is one tries repeatedly and the other didn't try much at all. The only cure for approach anxiety is to try, and if you fail, then keep failing forward.
Friday, 2 July 2010
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
Monday, 28 June 2010
Before the Asian American blogosphere, there were Asian American discussion boards. You had Model Minority, Yellow World and the Fighting 44's. These sites were extremely popular for a time, because they provided platforms in which Asians all over the Anglosphere could connect, discuss and vent on everything from the personal to the political.
Eventually blogs came into prominence, and the Angry Asian Man became the first to aggregate news stories of interest to Asian Americans. Now we have tons of AA blogs, everything from Channel APA to the Minority Militant to Slant Eye for the Round Eye to Big WoWo.
The rise of AA blogs brought about the demise of AA forums, because blogs address a need for self-expression. Although forums do allow for individual expression, what usually happens is that a core group of posters dominate the threads. Cliques form and what was once a very open forum now becomes a private cyber hangout for disaffected intellectuals who snipe at those they disagree with. It's almost as if forums have a built-in mechanism to limit their growth so that they don't get too big.
Blogs appeal to the narcissist in all of us. For some, the blog is more about the blogger than the audience. But there are so many AA blogs out there, that you have to focus on a niche. You have to meet a need other than your need for attention and external validation.
I think what AA blogs do well is to expose their readers to AA artists and AA news. Much of the AA community doesn't support AA artists and films, because the community isn't exposed to these artists and films in the first place.
But what I think AA blogs should also start doing is to give its readers a sense of direction. If you're running an AA blog and all you're doing is commenting on the same videos and stories that every other AA blog is commenting on, then what's the point?
Don't get me wrong. If you have a personal blog, then treat it as your online diary. If you have a business blog, then treat it as a business tool. But if you identify your blog as an Asian American blog, then you should probably identify your target audience within the AA community, because as of now the AA blogosphere is getting pretty crowded. If you're looking to burst on to the AA blogosphere and yell, "TA-DA!" then you've got to distinguish yourself:
1) Write something interesting or do something interesting to write about. Your readers are either looking for information or for entertainment. But sometimes they can get caught up in the story of your personal life, IF you have an interesting personal life. Your entire life doesn't have to be on display for all to read, but providing snippets of who you are and where you're from makes your blog posts far more personal. People place more value on information when they know who's providing the information.
2) A blogger has to have an opinion. If you're a blogger, then you better damn well have an opinion. Otherwise there is no reason to read your ramblings. What's the point of being a blogger if you don't say what's on your mind? Most AA bloggers are just bland: they don't comment on controversial issues, and when they do, they give the most tepid lukewarm opinions. Then to top it off, they ask the readers, "What do you think?"
I already know what I think. I'm reading your blog to find out what YOU think.
If you are a blogger, then people expect you to have a strong opinion on things. This is what distinguishes you from a journalist, who has to remain objective. You may be afraid of what readers may say if you truly expressed your opinion, but as long as you are honest, then who cares what other people think. Screw political correctness. Screw dogma and pseudo-intellectual rhetoric. Grow some balls and say what's on your mind. This leads me to the next point:
3) If you call yourself an Asian American blogger, then you should advocate for the Asian American community. You don't have to tackle every AA issue, because then you'll just develop compassion fatigue. But if you take on the mantle of "Asian American," then you should advocate for the Asian American communities, especially when a current event sheds light on a racial injustice. It puts a bad light on your Asian American blog if the mainstream news media is covering an Asian American issue and you're silent.
4) A balance of levity and purpose. There are plenty of blogs which aggregate viral videos and articles on how insane the Japanese are, but those blogs are a dime a dozen. Everybody has access to the same LOL/WTF videos, so what's the point other than a good laugh? What distinguishes your blog from Buzzfeed, for God's sake?
You have to have a balance in the tone of your blog: the frivolity of cute cat videos with the seriousness of "60 Minutes."
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Saturday, 26 June 2010
Thursday, 24 June 2010
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Here's an interesting podcast from NPR on the rise of Asian Americans in the military: "More Asian-Americans Signing Up For The Army" by Lonny Shavelson
In the U.S. Army, Asian-Americans have typically volunteered at the lowest rate of any ethnic group. They make up 4 percent of the population, and only 1 percent of military recruits.
But that seems to be changing. Something is suddenly drawing Asian-Americans in California into the Army at a remarkable rate. And there have been similar increases in other Asian-American population centers, like Seattle and New York.
In Los Angeles County last year, 22 percent of Army recruits were Asian-Americans — almost twice their proportion in the population. In the San Francisco Bay Area, the sign-up rate is also spiking. The proportion of newly enlisted soldiers who are Asian-Americans this year is nearly double that of last year.
Army Pays For College
Army officers at the Bay Area's Richmond Hilltop Mall recruiting station teach incoming soldiers to march. The recruits, still in high school, will start basic training after they graduate.
Of 15 incoming soldiers at the recruitment station, seven are Asian Pacific Islanders, including Albert and Barry Huang. They're 18-year-old twins who speak Cantonese at home and English outside of home. They tend to finish each other's sentences.
"It affected me. When I decided to join the military, I was like, 'I'm not going to kill anybody; I do not want to kill anybody. I do not want to have a person's death on my conscience.'" - Barry Huang
"My parents always pushed the idea of, 'Go to college, go to college,' " Albert says. "And so this is a start of how we're going to ..."
"Do what our parents want us to do," says Barry. "Which is go to college, get an education."
Barry calls the marching orders for the recruits. This is his route to college.
"Now that the economy has gone down and the tuition's gone up — the Army, they can pay for my college, so I was like, might as well do it," Barry says.
The military's education benefits have become particularly appealing in this stumbling economy with skyrocketing college costs. That's one reason Asian-Americans, with their traditional emphasis on education, are increasingly joining the Army.
But Ken Mochizuki, who co-authored a book about Asians in the military, says new Asian-American recruits are motivated by more than education.
"In the present war, they're not fighting against Asians like in WWII or Vietnam," he says.
Mochizuki says today's young soldiers were born after World War II, Korea and Vietnam — all wars in which the U.S. fought Asians. So this generation of Asian-Americans "want to prove their loyalty to this country and [that] they're as American as anybody else," he says.
Asians In Noncombat Jobs
Yet increased recruitment of Asian-Americans doesn't mean that more are on the front lines.
The majority are in combat service support, technical support or computer support, according to Betty Maxfield, the chief of personnel data for the Army.
She says Asian-Americans more commonly go into noncombat jobs rather than become front-line fighters. Soldiers who focus on the military's education benefits, she says, train in jobs that can translate to civilian life — like technology or medicine rather than rifles or sharpshooting.
The Huang twins say that for them, finding noncombat roles is also cultural and religious. Their mother is Buddhist.
"It affected me. When I decided to join the military, I was like, 'I'm not going to kill anybody; I do not want to kill anybody. I do not want to have a person's death on my conscience,' " Barry Huang says.
Asian-Americans — like four-star Gen. Eric Shinseki, the secretary of the Department of Veterans Affairs; and Maj. Gen. Antonio Taguba, who led the investigation into abuses at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq — have also become more visible in the Army. The most potent reason that young Asian-Americans are increasingly joining the Army may just be because they now see prominent soldiers who look like them.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
Pastor Tony Kim is auditioning for a new Morgan Spurlock documentary, COMIC-CON® EPISODE FOUR: A FAN'S HOPE. Director Spurlock will be following and showcasing the lives of several self-professed nerds and their experiences at Comic-Con. You can find more info at Spurlock's website and let him know we want Tony Kim featured in the movie. Nerds rule!
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