Can You Eat Bitterness?

I love watching reality game shows. There are some really crazy shows with some crazy premises ("Hole in the Wall" comes to mind), but most have one thing in common: how much punishment can you endure for a prolonged period of time?

As a whole, Asian Americans have done very well in reality game shows. The most famous is Survivor winner Yul Kwon, but there are other prominent Asian American Survivors, such as Yau-Man Chan from Survivor Fiji, the most beloved competitor from the series:

"An atypical Survivor contestant, he achieved much success through his knowledge and utilization of basic physics. This was evident from the first episode. After the repeated efforts of much more muscular contestants, he was the only one able to open a box of supplies the tribe received.

"While others had used various brute force methods to open the box, Chan simply dropped it on its corner onto a rock, opening it immediately. In this way he was also able to beat younger, fitter and theoretically stronger players in challenges. While not shown on the series, he was also instrumental to the creation of fire using spectacles (something not normally possible with concave lenses)."


Currently in Survivor Gabon, professional gamer Ken Hoang is still in the running, having masterfully outwitted stronger and more athletic players.

Solitary is another reality show where contestants compete with each other by voluntarily placing themselves in solitary confinement for an indefinite length of time (days to weeks), undergoing mental and physical tests (a.k.a. torture) with little to no sleep or food. If you think Survivor is tortuous, Solitary is ten times worse.

Solitary and Solitary 2.0 were both won by Asian Americans: high school teacher Steve G. won Season 1 and photographer Phu Pham won Season 2.


So why have Asian Americans performed so well in these games of mental and physical endurance and torture? Part of the reason has to do with how Asians deal with suffering. Asians tend to tolerate suffering more and endure it longer. You don't bitch about yourself and your suffering. You don't whine about could've, should've, would've. You just deal with it and move on. You eat bitterness.

This is a good thing if your suffering leads to a desired goal, but not good if people take advantage of you and you don't punish them for it.

But with proper focus on the right kind of suffering (the kind that leads to reward), eating bitterness can be a good thing. If you want something bad enough, then you have to do a lot of hard work and deal with a lot of heartache to get what you want. So ask yourself:

Do you have what it takes to get what you want? Can you eat bitterness?

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"Bruce" Lights Matches with Nunchucks

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Roger Fan

The always hilarious Roger Fan.

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Chinatown Chat

This is their BEST webisode yet! NOT WORK SAFE.

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Working Out the Flat Asian Butt

"Dear James,

"I scoured through your strength blog, and I noticed there is no mention about how to work out the butt. In particular, if you are an ectomorph and have a flat Asian butt. I know everyone suggests, 'Squats, Squats, Squats!'

"Do you have any thoughts about how to get a rounder bulky butt? How many times a week should we do squats? Should I do low reps with heavy weight? I have been working out for 20 years now. I tested various methods, but this part of the body has stumped me. Anyways, I ordered your 2 books after hearing you on BetterAsianMan.com. Maybe the answer lies in those books?"

Regards,
Flat-butted Asian


My Answer: Ah, the dreaded no-junk-in-the-trunk Asian butt. There are programs in the Strength and Physique books that will develop your ass, although they were not specifically intended for badonka-donk building.

Don't you like how this conversation is going?

Anyway, to build a bootylicious butt, you do have to squat. The question is: are you squatting all the way down, ass to the grass? If you're doing half squats and stopping when your thighs break parallel, then of course you won't build any ass. Your glutes don't activate during squats unless you go all the way down.

If you're having a hard time building up the glutes AND you're an ectomorph, then start doing 20 rep breathing squats. These will build quite an ass on you, if you do full squats. 20 rep breathing squats will also put a lot of overall muscle on you. Lunges and reverse lunges are also very good building up the glutes, so include these as well.

Jeez, I never talked about the ass so much in a non-sexual context

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Offensive vs Defensive Mindset

It's interesting how the martial arts of a culture reflects it's philosophy and values. Although there are notable exceptions (Muay Thai), Western martial arts tend to have an offensive mindset while Eastern martial arts tend to have a defensive mindset.

The offensive mindset is this: The best defense is a good offense.

In the Western mindset, it is about meeting force with force. You cannot predict what others do, nor should you care. You only know what you can do, and you do it. You exert your force and will to dominate others. Action is always better than inaction. The offensive mindset operates on constant forward drive.

The defensive mindset is this: The best offense is a good defense.

In the Eastern mindset, it's about going with the flow. You cannot always meet force with force and expect to win. You choose your battles wisely. Every attack on you provides you with an opportunity to launch a counterattack. The defensive mindset operates on patience, skill and quickly taking advantage of opportunities.


A prime example of the defensive mindset is mixed martial artist Lyoto Machida. Here's a short descrip on his unorthodox fighting style from Wikipedia:

"Machida’s fight style has been described as 'deliberate' and 'methodical'—both as a compliment and out of disapproval. Following his victory over Tito Ortiz at UFC 84, he has received admiration and criticism for his unconventional ways, widening the so-called 'Machida Divide' among MMA fans. Supporters defend his 'elusive' ways as the genius of a sound technical fighter:

“I think when Machida fights you really get to see which fans appreciate MMA as a sport, and which just like to watch for random violence.”

"Detractors view his defensive approach as boring, diminishing the entertaining aspect of the sport: Machida’s 'get-in-get-out' style is seen by critics as a marketing liability for the UFC, which could hamper his career because fight fans keen on excitement might not pay to see him compete for a championship. Others contend that Machida would fail as a champion, because of a language barrier and his defensive approach would alienate fans."

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How Wars Should Be Fought

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18 Fingers of Death

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Illegal Immigrants

Happy Thanksgiving Alpha Asians!

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The Angry Asian Man Syndrome

So here's an article from The Dong-A Ilbo site:

"The Dong-A Ilbo commissioned the world’s leading search engine Google to conduct surveys on keywords that best represent 30 member countries of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development and China, as well as their people.

"The Korean people were mainly described as 'quick-tempered and workaholics,' followed by 'hardworking and ambitious' and 'friendly and kind.' Another interesting keyword was 'early morning prayers.'

"For the survey, Google Korea ran an automatic search Sunday evening on hundreds of billions of Web pages after typing in a series of questions in English on what a country or its people is known for.

"Japan was most known for kimono; Mount Fuji; ninjas; manga (comic books); sushi; and electronic goods. The Japanese were best known for their high life expectancy and materialistic pursuits and low risk of heart disease.

"The most common words associated with China were ancient civilization; kind people; the Great Wall of China; terracotta warriors; the Yangtze River; and exotic recipes. Words linked to the Chinese people included passionate about learning, culture and diverse natural remedies.

"The list for the United States was unique in that its top 10 keywords were all related to culture, beginning with exhibitions and festivals followed by concerts, experimental arts, entertainment, historic monuments, memorials and museums. Global Web users most often cited the tenacity and tolerance of Americans."

Posted on NOVEMBER 18, 2008 03:10


My friend (who happens to be an ABC like me) and I were talking a couple of nights ago about how Korean men seem rather uptight and angry all the time. He told me, "Yeah Korean women are so beautiful and nice, but the men are just assholes."

Of course, my friend was generalizing. But then again, maybe the Korean guys were trying to cock block him.

I've known plenty of Korean men, and they weren't hot-headed gun-toting wack jobs. Koreans are damn hip, actually. Most of the Asian American celebs these days are Korean: Yul Kwon, Daniel Dae Kim, Bobby Lee, John Cho, Sung Kang, etc. There does, however, seem to be a rash of "angry Asian men" nowadays, not all of them Korean.



Anger, like any emotion, is either beneficial or detrimental, depending on how and when it's expressed. Acute anger is good ONLY if it is an appropriate response to a grave injustice. Acute anger is an immediate response, and because the response is immediate, the offender learns not to cross your path again. Acute anger has nothing to do with the severity of your response, but the swiftness of it.

But chronic anger is different. Chronic anger is not expressed immediately and reasonably, so it festers and debilitates the person who is angry. Passive-aggressive people suffer from chronic anger. Injustice collectors suffer from chronic anger.

Chronic anger is indicative of someone who is (or perceives himself to be) in a weak or low status position. After all, if you take offense to every perceived slight, then you must have a fragile ego.

So if you're an angry Asian man constantly bitching about how all Asian women are dating white guys, then that indicates low status and low self-esteem. It is indicates that you're a loser, because you think that you're a loser and now you've perpetuated this self-fulfilling prophecy.

So for all the angry Asian men out there: chill out and relax a bit. I know it's hokey, but read up on the Law of Attraction. Better yet, have lots of safe sex. You won't be so angry, and you'll be much more mellow.

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Bruce Lee Look-A-Like Playing Ping Pong

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Why "A. Magazine" Went the Way of the Dodo

I was looking around for images to stick on this blog, so I went through a pile of "A. Magazine" back issues. All I could up with was this screwball playing around with a lighter.

A. Magazine is now defunct, as are "Yolk," "Transpacific," "Rice" and the short-lived "SAM." So the only real Asian American magazines we have (that I can think of) are "Hyphen" and "Audrey." I'm sure there are others floating around, some specific to Asian ethnic groups.

So why aren't there more Asian American magazines? Let's explore a possible answer by "randomly" selecting an issue of A. Magazine, shall we? How about the February/March 2001 issue with Chef Ming Tsai on the cover?



oHH Kay. First off the cover offends my heterosexual Asian American male sensibilities, because Ming's holding a flower with chopsticks. I hope the guy or gal who approved this cover was fired.

Now let's go over the table of contents. Hmm... let's see... sex survey (sex is always good)... gay Asian men (no comment)... homeland politics (snooze)... 5 hot Asian American chefs (are these hot chef babes?)... and spring fashion preview (BORING).

Although it was great having Asian American magazines when they were around, the fact is that hardly anybody bought them, because nobody could relate to the article topics or to the Asians portrayed in these magazines. I may want to see and read about Asians, but not if we're going to talk about food, fashion and politics.

Plus, where's the humor? Tongue-in-cheek humor not only softens, but it also sharpens the overall tone of a magazine. It makes it more accessible, especially when you're talking to the masses about race and politics. All of these Asian American mags, including A. Magazine, had no humor and no charm.

To this day there is no magazine, publication or online magazine specific to the heterosexual Asian American male. Who knows if we'll get another Asian American magazine other than Hyphen, and frankly, who cares?

The Internet is the primary form of media, nowadays. Why buy a magazine when you can make your own daily mag by collecting various feeds on topics you like to read?

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The 3-5 Method

I love the board game "Risk." Risk is a classic board game about world domination. You teach yourself a lot about strategy and managing your resources. If I were to pick 4 classic board games to teach your child to develop a mindset that can deal with the real world, it'd be:

1) Risk (for strategy and tactics)
2) Monopoly (for resource and financial management)
3) Scrabble (for vocabulary)
4) Chess (for mental calculations)

Anyway, there's an episode of Seinfeld where Newman and Kramer are playing a days long game of Risk, and Jerry comments, "It's Risk. It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives."

Some people are like Kramer: a lot of crazy ideas that border on genius, but they got A.D.D. You know the ones I'm talking about. They'll go into a diatribe about the history of Chinese oppression in Tibet or preach against whale fishing by the Japanese, but they can't manage a checkbook or lay off the booze and weed. They don't have their shit together in their lives, so they choose to rally around causes on the other side of the world so they can swing their moral hammer.

I've talked a lot about focus in my previous blog entries, and focus comes in handy when it comes to choosing causes and pet projects to fight for. As some of you know, I train and write about strength training and bodybuilding in my spare time.

Bodybuilders know how to focus, because they are mindful of the moment they are in. People who don't like hardship will bitch and complain about an exercise being too painful and will stop the set prematurely. But a bodybuilder is totally focused on that burning sensation in his muscles. He embraces it thinking, "I LOVE working through this pain, because I know it will get me to my goal."

A bodybuilder focuses on the hard work in the gym that gets shit done. Here's a bodybuilding method that I've adapted to prioritize pet causes and the effective actions to be undertaken. It's called the 3-5 Method.

The premise is simple: keep lists of any kind to 3-5 bullet points, NO MORE. Anything beyond 3-5 is not relevant. Develop 2 lists: one list of 3-5 goals you want to accomplish no matter how long it takes, and one list of 3-5 goals that can easily be accomplished right away.

If you have a severe case of A.D.D. and more poor time management skills, then do 2 lists of 3. If you're focused and driven, then do 2 lists of 5.

The great thing about this method is that if you get bored with one project, then you can rotate to another project on your list that you're in the mood for. That way you can recharge, but not be pulled in 10 different directions.

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Attraction is Not a Choice

I recently had lunch with a friend, and she related how she had broken up with her boyfriend. She's a very intelligent girl and like anybody fresh from a break-up, she feels confused and somewhat betrayed. The reasons for the break-up didn't seem logical to her.

The thing is that intelligence, logic and rationality have NOTHING to do with attraction and maintaining relationships. Both men and women do stupid things when they are possessed by emotions such as passion, sexual tension and longing. There is a widely quoted phrase among PUA circles and that is this:

"Attraction is not a choice."

You can't help who you're attracted to and when you're attracted to someone, no matter how intelligently and rationally you behave and live your life. This is the reason why some women are attracted to bad boys or make bad choices with regards to their love life. This is why a man risks everything he's earned, including his marriage and his financial assets, to have an affair.

A perfect example of this is to ask an "open-minded," "liberal" woman if she would date or marry a short guy, and she will tell you, "No." Attraction to height is hard-wired into our genes and there is no getting around that. Another example would be to ask an "open-minded" male if he would date someone ugly, and he'll tell you "No" as well.

I took a lot of Asian American Studies courses, so I knew a lot of Asian American professors. With the exception of one couple, every Asian American professor I knew (male and female) that was attached was married to a Caucasian spouse. We're not talking about professors who masquerade as Asian American Studies professors and teach Amy Tan. We're talking about people who contributed to seminal Asian American works, like "The Big Aiiieeee!" We're talking about hardcore fighters for The Cause.

You would figure proponents for Asian American respect and causes would have married Asian American spouses, but like I said: attraction is not a choice. To deny that you feel attraction towards someone, even if it is based on bias and irrationality, is stupid. Acknowledge your desires, acknowledge your bias, because we all have them.

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Name That Asian

Believe it or not, this video is work safe.

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Delicious Journey

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The Rules of the Game are Always the Same

My 73 year old father-in-law is a widower who's recently gotten back into the dating game. Yes, that's right: old Asian men and women still date. Who knew?!

Anyway, I've written about my father-in-law before about how he's kept himself in good health. He drinks gallons of green tea and eats a grapefruit everyday. Whatever it is he's doing, it's working cuz he's got a full head of jet black hair. And because he's kept up with his appearances, he's a hit with the ladies at the senior center. My father-in-law was a professor back in Shanghai, and the Cantonese women at the center are enamored with his intellectual background as well.

The funny thing is that these seniors do a lot of dancing. They're addicted to dancing, so much so that they will hop around different senior centers. I guess senior centers have different hours. "Hey, a bunch of us are going to the Chinatown center. They're open till midnight."

Sounds like a bunch of teenagers club-hopping, huh? When it comes down to it, the rules of the game are always the same, no matter how old you are.

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Reader Mail: The Aussie Asian Speaks Again

G'day James,

It's the resident Asian-Australian saying hi. First thing, I've had a look at the AA T-shirt designs and my favourite is the design scheme used in the "bumper sticker". It's where the five elements are positioned horizontally above the alphabetic logo. As a suggestion, the popular designs would also look good on a coffee mug. Let me know if the coffee mug idea will proceed, since I'm quite far away. I would prefer to buy multiple items in one parcel.

Regarding the 10 Op Orders for the Alpha Asian: That's a pretty good guide, and I've printed out a copy for my desk at home and one in my drawer at work. I like to have stuff like this in my room to keep me on track and make sure I don't deviate from my goals.

It's also one of the reasons why I read your Strength and Alpha Asian blogs on a regular basis. Like you said in one of your posts, it's good to associate yourself with positive thinking people who are driven and hard working.

By the way, we've been following the US election this week, and from my point of view, the outcome of the US election is fantastic and is seen as the start of a new era for your country and its relations to the world. I have fond memories of my trip to the US almost 10 years ago, and I'm keen to see how the country fares in the next few years.


Regards,
The Aussie Asian


My Answer: Hey good to hear from you again Aussie Asian. If you're interested in a coffee mug with the Alpha Asian logo, then guess what?! Just because you asked, we'll put it on our online store. The mugs should be up by the end of this weekend.

I'm glad you like the Op Orders for the Alpha Asian. I try to live a very focused life, and these are some of the precepts that I try to follow to keep myself focused on accomplishing things.

As far as politics, I'm hoping for an Asian American president someday. I just hope it doesn't take 30+ years for us the way it took 30 years since the Civil Rights movement for America to be comfortable with an African American president.

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What the Future Holds

My wife works for a high school in Millbrae, a "suburban-city" south of San Francisco. The City of Millbrae is a somewhat affluent area where although Caucasians make up the majority (approximately 63%), Asians make up a significant 29% of the population. One day my wife was talking to a senior student, a Caucasian girl bound for an Ivy League college on the East Coast. The girl related how she felt strange going away to a place where people would not understand what a "cha siu bao" was.

My wife and I live in Daly City, another burb-city just south of San Francisco. Asians make up the majority in Daly City and constitute 52% of the population. If you walk into the Trader Joe's here in Daly City, you'll find a diverse clientele, Asian and non-Asian. Yet if you walk into Ranch 99 or any of the other popular Asian supermarkets here in Daly City, you will find non-Asians shop at these markets as well.

What the future holds for the U.S. is "transculturation." It is widely projected that people of color will constitute the majority of the US and European population by 2050. It's already happened here in the California, and it happened a long time ago in Hawaii.

But the media has a big fat disconnect with reality. You'd figure that Hollywood (an industry based in California where people of color make up the majority) would have more portrayals of people of color, but there aren't very many beyond African Americans. Hollywood lives in a bubble of it's own creation and exports this idea of a "whites only" reality to the rest of world. Unfortunately, we as people of color still gladly buy their white supremacist bullshit and perpetuate it.

Sometimes, however, Hollywood's fictional universe precludes reality. Actor Dennis Haysbert portrayed an African American president in the TV show "24" starting in 2002, and 6 years later: VOILA! We elect an African American president.

I'm not holding my breath, but eventually Hollywood and the American media will come around to presenting more varied portrayals of Asians and Asian Americans. I just hope it doesn't take another 30 years for us to get some respect and representation. The future of a transculturated America has already arrived. Hollywood just needs to represent it.

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The Difference Between Cats and Dogs

So here's a 6 month old kitten that my wife and I are fostering. We named him Micah, and even though is he small, Micah is fearless. Micah always wants to wrestle with our much bigger cat, Newbe. My wife and I have taken care of both cats and dogs, but we consider ourselves cat people. Not that we don't like dogs, but we identify more with the feline nature.

Do you know what the difference is between cats and dogs? While both animals behave in accordance with their instincts, a dog accommodates to its master, whereas an owner accommodates to its cat. A cat carries herself as if she were descended from a great heritage: lions and tigers. A cat knows his proud and regal lineage, and let's you know it too.

A dog is also descended from a great and noble ancestry: wolves. But whereas a cat remembers her heritage, a dog does not. Hence because of this cultural amnesia, he's vulnerable to having his behavior molded to fit the needs and wants of people.

So what are you? Are you a cat or or are you a dog?

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10 Op Orders for the Alpha Asian

These are some of the life lessons I try to live by. It took me years to figure some of this stuff out:

1) Be honest with yourself. It's one thing to be dishonest with others, but nobody respects a person who is dishonest with himself. Know what it is you ultimately want. Don't bullshit yourself and say you want one thing, when you really want another. Be very objective in your self-analysis.

2) Learn to focus, and focus on the right things. You may have a lot of lofty and grandiose dreams and ideas, but if you can't focus on doing the daily tasks that help accomplish those dreams, then you are of no use. Learn to focus on a few activities, and do those activities well. Just make sure that whatever activities you are engaging in are meaningful and will result in measureable and desireable outcomes.

3) No regrets, no guilt. I don't ever feel guilty. You know why? Because I don't act stupid in the first place. If you feel guilty, then it means you were too stupid to refrain from performing the regretful act. Guilt helps no one after the fact.

4) Minimize the negative, maximize the positive. The Chinese metaphor for life is war. This means life is always lived strategically and tactically, and to do this, you must always minimize the negative and maximize the positive.

5) Commit to your goal, not your methods. Life is a series of battles, however, and each battle is situational. Learn when your strength can become a liability and when your weakness can be transmuted into a strength. Go with the flow. What is important is your goal, not your methods.

6) When you commit, commit totally. When you make a choice and commit to a course of action, perform the action with confidence. Commit fully, and you will succeed. Hesitate, and you will fail.

7) Reward well, punish swiftly. Avoid passive-aggressive behavior. Nobody respects a person who stews over an incident, but did not have the confidence to address the perpetrator the moment it happened.

8) Always prepare, always be prepared. Don't allow yourself and your loved ones to be placed in bad situations. Take ownership and avoid bad situations in the first place. Win every battle before it is fought.

9) Be information dense, word sparse. Words carry more weight, when one speaks less. If you want to get your point across, then be direct. If you want to listen, then be vague.

10) Do what you like. Be happy, stupid! Why make yourself miserable? What good are you if you're the human equivalent of Eeyore? Don't wallow in self-pity. Act. Do what you like.

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Four Exercise Personality Types

How you react to a stress, whether it be physical or mental, chronic or acute, reveals a lot about a person. As a trainer, I've come across 4 distinct personalities with regards to workout ethic. The funny thing is these 4 distinct workout personalities are found outside of the gym as well and permeate all aspects of society.

1) The Yeah-But: This is the person who looks for every excuse not to do whatever it is you recommend that he or she do. Trainer says, "To lean down, you'll need to diet."

Yeah-But says, "Yeah... but... I don't want to diet. I just want to exercise the weight off."

I purposely avoid training these people, because they rationalize a way to lose before every battle in their life.

2) The Intellectual Masturbator: This person suffers from analysis paralysis. He would rather learn and yak about the theory of exercise and diet, instead of hitting the gym and pushing his body to its highest potential. Although I always encourage questions and clarifications, the intel masturbator will question everything in order to stall the program. These folks need a beeping countdown timer to make sure they stay on track in their workout.

3) The Balls to the Walls Trainee: This person is the complete opposite to both 1 and 2. He or she will actually do more than is recommended - extra workouts, extra exercises, more reps, more weight, etc.

While this person's drive is admirable, his foresight and ability to follow directions sucks. The concept of 2 steps forward, 1 step back is foreign to this person. It's not about how hard you train in the gym, it is whether or not you obtain your physique and strength goals. There are times when you have to pull back in the intensity of your training to allow your body to supercompensate. And that means sticking to the program. No more, no less.

4) The Alpha Asian: My favorite exercise personality. Once shown, he or she follows the program to a T. This person clarifies any ambiguous aspects of a program, accepts the expertise of the trainer (if the trainer demonstrates him or herself to be an expert), and just does it.

Whereas the Balls-to-the-Walls trainee focuses on his motivation and drive to solve all problems, the Alpha Asian focuses on method and results. The Alpha Asian personality is quite rare in any field.

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