Here's a great interview Channel APA did with Christopher Wong, director of the documentary Whatever It Takes which follows the story of high school principal Edward Tom.
Tuesday, 30 March 2010
I wanted to piggyback on some things James mentioned in his previous post on the Blog and the Facebook discussions. James said he wanted to impart some wisdom to make life easier on the younger guys, to have them be fulfilled. That got me thinking about what makes a person happy? What would make you, the reader, happy? Those that feel isolated, what would make you have a good life?
As I kind of mentioned in my response to James' post, whining isn't good if you do it all the time. You can whine to vent and blow off some steam about the debilitating social images we have, but you also have to do something about it and go about living your life. So what would make you happy?
You'd probably answer "money", right? Well, that might not be so true. There has been research done by academics and economists about the link between money and happiness and the findings are interesting. It's mostly an illusion. Sure, money is important in that we have to pay the rent and put food on the table. It sure does provide a bit happiness to those who are struggling financially, but it's more likely to reduce the stress of daily survival.
A 2006 Princeton study concluded that money and happiness is illusory:
While most people believe that having more income would make them happier, Princeton University researchers have found that the link is greatly exaggerated and mostly an illusion.
People surveyed about their own happiness and that of others with varying incomes tended to overstate the impact of income on well-being, according to a new study. Although income is widely assumed to be a good measure of well-being, the researchers found that its role is less significant than predicted and that people with higher incomes do not necessarily spend more time in more enjoyable ways....
For the new study, the researchers examined data from the 2004 survey to illustrate misperceptions that more money buys more happiness. Their experiment extended previous studies in which people have exhibited a "focusing illusion" when asked about certain factors contributing to their happiness -- attributing a greater importance to that factor once it has been brought to mind. For example, when people were asked to describe their general happiness and then asked how many dates they had in the past month, their answers showed little correlation. But when the order of the questions was reversed for another group, the link between their love lives and general happiness became much greater.
Ted Leonsis, former AOL executive and owner of the Washington Capitals NHL franchise, is a fascinating and successful businessman, having grown up in a working class household. He is accessible to the fans, blogs, and interacts with fans making him one of the more popular sports franchise owners in the US. He also has written a book about happiness and it's not so much a book to build up his ego about what a great savvy business guy he is; rather, it's about life lessons he's learned along the way. What he's basically found is this: happiness brings success, not the other way around.
On his blog, he writes:
While I think money can help, I certainly don’t think it’s the key to ultimate happiness - particularly since I know some pretty wealthy people who are very unhappy souls. As I’ve commented on previously, I’ve noticed that there are five traits that the happiest people I know - all happen to share:
1. Being connected to multiple communities of interest in an active way. The more people on your buddy list the happier you are;
2. Giving back through volunteerism and sharing with others. (YouTube, MySpace and other social networks prove this point on the importance of sharing);
3. Pursuing the higher calling in all of your major efforts, by doing what is right in the right way.
4. Self expression. Having a good third place to exchange ideas, be creative and have your voice be heard (why do you think there are 54 million blogs out there?)
5. Showing gratitude by being thankful and optimistic.
In his book, he also writes about how he bought a Ferrari only to find out it really didn't have much meaning to his life, that it was like an empty calorie. A nice thing to have but so what? It's about being multi-dimensional rather than singularly focused all the time. It is the variety of life's experiences that creates a full life and that lends itself to happiness.
Expand your social circles. Get out there and don't let life pass you by.
As I kind of mentioned in my response to James' post, whining isn't good if you do it all the time. You can whine to vent and blow off some steam about the debilitating social images we have, but you also have to do something about it and go about living your life. So what would make you happy?
You'd probably answer "money", right? Well, that might not be so true. There has been research done by academics and economists about the link between money and happiness and the findings are interesting. It's mostly an illusion. Sure, money is important in that we have to pay the rent and put food on the table. It sure does provide a bit happiness to those who are struggling financially, but it's more likely to reduce the stress of daily survival.
A 2006 Princeton study concluded that money and happiness is illusory:
While most people believe that having more income would make them happier, Princeton University researchers have found that the link is greatly exaggerated and mostly an illusion.
People surveyed about their own happiness and that of others with varying incomes tended to overstate the impact of income on well-being, according to a new study. Although income is widely assumed to be a good measure of well-being, the researchers found that its role is less significant than predicted and that people with higher incomes do not necessarily spend more time in more enjoyable ways....
For the new study, the researchers examined data from the 2004 survey to illustrate misperceptions that more money buys more happiness. Their experiment extended previous studies in which people have exhibited a "focusing illusion" when asked about certain factors contributing to their happiness -- attributing a greater importance to that factor once it has been brought to mind. For example, when people were asked to describe their general happiness and then asked how many dates they had in the past month, their answers showed little correlation. But when the order of the questions was reversed for another group, the link between their love lives and general happiness became much greater.
Ted Leonsis, former AOL executive and owner of the Washington Capitals NHL franchise, is a fascinating and successful businessman, having grown up in a working class household. He is accessible to the fans, blogs, and interacts with fans making him one of the more popular sports franchise owners in the US. He also has written a book about happiness and it's not so much a book to build up his ego about what a great savvy business guy he is; rather, it's about life lessons he's learned along the way. What he's basically found is this: happiness brings success, not the other way around.
On his blog, he writes:
While I think money can help, I certainly don’t think it’s the key to ultimate happiness - particularly since I know some pretty wealthy people who are very unhappy souls. As I’ve commented on previously, I’ve noticed that there are five traits that the happiest people I know - all happen to share:
1. Being connected to multiple communities of interest in an active way. The more people on your buddy list the happier you are;
2. Giving back through volunteerism and sharing with others. (YouTube, MySpace and other social networks prove this point on the importance of sharing);
3. Pursuing the higher calling in all of your major efforts, by doing what is right in the right way.
4. Self expression. Having a good third place to exchange ideas, be creative and have your voice be heard (why do you think there are 54 million blogs out there?)
5. Showing gratitude by being thankful and optimistic.
In his book, he also writes about how he bought a Ferrari only to find out it really didn't have much meaning to his life, that it was like an empty calorie. A nice thing to have but so what? It's about being multi-dimensional rather than singularly focused all the time. It is the variety of life's experiences that creates a full life and that lends itself to happiness.
Expand your social circles. Get out there and don't let life pass you by.
Monday, 29 March 2010
You know you're getting older when there's a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine. I've always been a fan of the time travel genre, but when you cross the genre with VH1's I Love the 80's, that's an irresistable combination for me. I can't travel through time and be my own mentor, but I do feel an obligation to give younger men a heads up on life to come.
A lot of Asian American sites catering to men talk about improving the AA male image and picking up women. But as a female co-blogger once wrote, there isn't enough talk about how to maintain a good relationship:
"What I come across most frequently is advice on how to pick up women or other dating tips. Guys will ask each other if they 'scored' but rarely will guys have an in-depth discussion about their long-term relationship. Men (and women) become far less interested in making a relationship good once it goes into the long-term maintenance phase. But why? How do you get better at a relationship without having people (that you don't have to pay) to turn to?"
My wife and I have been married for 9 years. Here are some of the things I've observed of our relationship and of the relationships of other couples, both young and old:
1) Give her some sugar. Women desire ambitious men. Ambition shows that you have drive, goals and dreams in mind. These things are very appealing to most women, because it shows that you have emotional depth, you have interests and you have foresight.
The problem is that women also want you to spend lots and lots of time with them. They will start complaining about how you're always working or how you spend too much time on your hobbies or how you should just give up on your dreams of being the next American Idol.
It's sort of a paradox: women want you to be ambitious and interesting, but at the same time they don't want to play second or third fiddle to your ambitions and dreams. Not only this, but they only want you to have ambitions in practical interests they're interested in. You may want to be the king of Donkey Kong or give up your career as a doctor to pursue acting and comedy, but your lady is not going to have that. No siree!
The bottom line is you got to give your wife or your girlfriend "some sugar." She may want you to spend more time with her and the kids. She may want you to play a more active role as a father and husband. She may just want you to quit playing video games all the time and go out. You got to give the lady some sugar on a regular basis to let her know she's the number one person in your life. As long as you maintain a balance between your interests and your loved ones, then your wife or girlfriend should be supportive of you pursuing your interests.
2) She will always up the commitment level, so you better go along if she's the one. Women have a nesting instinct, so they will push for greater and greater levels of commitment as time goes on. If it weren't for women, then humanity would be stuck in the Stone Age. Guys have a tendency to want stay put in a relationship, "Why should we get married? It's only a piece of paper, and we're already living together?"
But once a woman attains a level of commitment, she will always want to up it to next the level. Forget the fact that you like how things are, and that you think things are pretty good, "Kids? But that'll cut down on spontaneous sex all over the house!"
You guys been dating for awhile? Time to move in together!
You guys living in an apartment? Better save up for a down payment on a house.
Enjoying these dates with your wife every weekend? Forget about it, because she wants lots of kids.
You want to retire on a quiet farm? That's not what she has planned for you, bub! She wants to travel the world till the day you die and long after.
Men value stability in a relationship, but to women that's simply boring. Women are always looking to progress the relationship to the next level, and ultimately, men become better people because of this.
3) Your relationship dynamic will change over time. Whereas men supposedly hit their sexual peak at 20, women supposedly hit their sexual peak at 30-35. So while you're waning, she's rising.
The funny thing is that over the years, your relationship dynamic will change and follow this pattern as well. At the beginning of your relationship, you're at or approaching your prime and she'll be head over heels with you. She'll do whatever you want to do and support you in whatever you want. For lack of a more PC term, you're wearing the pants in the relationship.
Over the years, however, your significant other is going to know all your tricks. You won't be able to woo her so easily, and she'll tire of your shenanigans. If anything, she's calling the shots now in the relationship. Just like the sexual energy, the relationship dynamic is shifting from you to her. Before you know it, you'll be a senile fogey, and she'll be the one wearing the pants in the family. You, well, you'll probably be wearing diapers.
Friday, 26 March 2010
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
If I eat too much American cuisine for a long time, I get a huge hankering for Asian cuisine. I gotta have some rice and get away from potatoes. I don't care what it is: Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, or Chinese, Korean. I am partial to Chinese cuisine and I am always amazed at the culinary variety of things that can come from a Chinese chef. I can be a little bit of a noodle freak, though---seriously, who doesn't like noodles? Be it won ton noodle soup, or a chow foon, a pad thai, key mow, or udon. It's all good stuff.
The other month, the Washington Post's food section did a story on Asian noodles:
Whether they're buckwheat-based soba, wheat-based udon, cellophane, rice or egg, Asian noodles are hitting their stride as one of the city's most versatile, inexpensive comfort foods. And while a bowl of noodles is gaining cachet -- just ask foodies waiting to see whether the London-based Wagamama really opens in Penn Quarter this May -- noodle houses have flourished in Washington for as long as the area has been home to Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai immigrants. When the Lunar New Year begins Sunday (coincidentally, Valentine's Day), the two-week celebration will see many Asian families feasting on long, uncut noodles, which symbolize longevity, as well as fish, various meats, mandarin oranges and dumplings, the latter two a nod to good fortune.
Which cultures use what noodles? Author Corinne Trang says, "Noodles are actually simpler than they seem," but for the noodle illiterate, the vast array is dizzying. How do you know what to order where, or what to buy if cooking them at home? Ingredients aside, noodles can be long or short, thick or thin, curly or flat or round, fresh or dried, any of which might be better suited for boiling, steaming, stir-frying or braising....
One of the darlings of the noodle world, New York chef David Chang, likens Americans' lack of familiarity with Asian noodles to the situation with Italian noodles 20 or more years ago. "Today, people know tagliatelle, pappardelle, bucatini, linguini, fettuccini," says Chang, who owns such restaurants as Momofuku and Noodle Bar. "Hopefully, the next decade will be the same for Asian noodles, and people will come to know Asian noodle flavors, shapes and sizes...."Who doesn't like noodles?" says DC Noodles' manager, Tom Farobon, who is originally from Thailand. "In my culture, we eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner." Farobon says the shop is doing well in a down economy because it's the right price point.
You can't read an article like that and not get the craving for noodles. Oh, and I had a big plate of Singapore rice noodles for lunch yesterday in Chinatown!
The other month, the Washington Post's food section did a story on Asian noodles:
Whether they're buckwheat-based soba, wheat-based udon, cellophane, rice or egg, Asian noodles are hitting their stride as one of the city's most versatile, inexpensive comfort foods. And while a bowl of noodles is gaining cachet -- just ask foodies waiting to see whether the London-based Wagamama really opens in Penn Quarter this May -- noodle houses have flourished in Washington for as long as the area has been home to Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai immigrants. When the Lunar New Year begins Sunday (coincidentally, Valentine's Day), the two-week celebration will see many Asian families feasting on long, uncut noodles, which symbolize longevity, as well as fish, various meats, mandarin oranges and dumplings, the latter two a nod to good fortune.
Which cultures use what noodles? Author Corinne Trang says, "Noodles are actually simpler than they seem," but for the noodle illiterate, the vast array is dizzying. How do you know what to order where, or what to buy if cooking them at home? Ingredients aside, noodles can be long or short, thick or thin, curly or flat or round, fresh or dried, any of which might be better suited for boiling, steaming, stir-frying or braising....
One of the darlings of the noodle world, New York chef David Chang, likens Americans' lack of familiarity with Asian noodles to the situation with Italian noodles 20 or more years ago. "Today, people know tagliatelle, pappardelle, bucatini, linguini, fettuccini," says Chang, who owns such restaurants as Momofuku and Noodle Bar. "Hopefully, the next decade will be the same for Asian noodles, and people will come to know Asian noodle flavors, shapes and sizes...."Who doesn't like noodles?" says DC Noodles' manager, Tom Farobon, who is originally from Thailand. "In my culture, we eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner." Farobon says the shop is doing well in a down economy because it's the right price point.
You can't read an article like that and not get the craving for noodles. Oh, and I had a big plate of Singapore rice noodles for lunch yesterday in Chinatown!
Saturday, 20 March 2010
By Mojo Rider
I've written here before about art and creative endeavors and this post will follow in the same vein. I believe I'm older than most people here, so my cultural frames of reference are much different.
Alex Chilton, an American singer/songwriter guitarist and influential performer, died last Wednesday before his reunited band Big Star could perform tonite at this year's SXSW. He was a child star, having a hit single at the age of 16 with The Box Tops' "The Letter" in the late 60's. Forming Big Star in the early 70's, Chilton exhibited an incredible sense of melody and power pop sensibilities. He had a huge influence on bands like REM, Wilco, The Bangles, and my favorite artist, Paul Westerberg. The theme song to TV's "That 70's Show" was a Chilton and Big Star song. Even though Chilton recorded just three albums with Big Star back in the early 70's. Still, he managed to develop a cult following with poignant and power pop songs like "September Gurls" (covered by The Bangles).
I had never heard of him before until Paul Westerberg wrote a song about one of his rock heroes. Rock radio never played Chilton when I was growing up, so how could I ever know who he was?
Children by the million
sing of Alex Chilton when he comes 'round
they sing I'm in love
what's that song?
I'm in love, with that song
But when one your favorite artists starts name checking someone, it's probably a good bet to check that person out. See, it's about knowing history, about knowing influences and tracing it back to the source. There would be no Paul Westerberg in the way that I know his music today if it weren't for Alex Chilton and others. It's great to see more Asian American musicians posting their songs and performances on the internet but have roots, be rooted in something. Your work and endeavors will be richer if someone can trace your lineage to someone or some thing.
Furthermore, Alex Chilton is another great example of being true to one's self and a re-inforcing example of what I posted earlier about art. Do it because you love it and because there's something that you want to express to the world. Don't do it if you just want attention or to just to have a lot hits on being viewed on you tube. Success and recognition is nice but not if it turns you into a clown, being forced to perform by the record label in front of an audience you don't want to perform to, or TV appearances that embarrass you, or that they want to make you into a personality, some sort of red carpet celebrity. Just because something gets air time or radio play, doesn't mean it's necessarily all that good. There is so much good music, art, and talented people that go unnoticed and under appreciated. It's out there. If you want it, you can find it.
Chilton said in a 1987 interview with The Associated Press that he didn't mind flying under the radar with Big Star and later as a solo artist.
"What would be ideal would be to make a ton of money and have nobody know about you," he said. "Fame has a lot of baggage to carry around. I wouldn't want to be like Bruce Springsteen. I don't need that much money and wouldn't want to have 20 bodyguards following me."
Paul Westerberg wrote in the NY Times op-ed page, "How does one react to the death of one’s mentor? My mind instantly slammed down the inner trouble-door that guards against all thought, emotion, sadness. Survival mode. Rock guitar players are all dead men walking. It’s only a matter of time, I tell myself as I finger my calluses. Those who fail to click with the world and society at large find safe haven in music — to sing, write songs, create, perform. Each an active art in itself that offers no promise of success, let alone happiness."
Funny how an "obscure" cult figure like Alex had so much influence and was someone that mattered as opposed to the next boy band, flavor of the month, passing trend, pop diva that gives you nothing of lasting value outside of their 15 minutes of fleeting fame.
I've written here before about art and creative endeavors and this post will follow in the same vein. I believe I'm older than most people here, so my cultural frames of reference are much different.
Alex Chilton, an American singer/songwriter guitarist and influential performer, died last Wednesday before his reunited band Big Star could perform tonite at this year's SXSW. He was a child star, having a hit single at the age of 16 with The Box Tops' "The Letter" in the late 60's. Forming Big Star in the early 70's, Chilton exhibited an incredible sense of melody and power pop sensibilities. He had a huge influence on bands like REM, Wilco, The Bangles, and my favorite artist, Paul Westerberg. The theme song to TV's "That 70's Show" was a Chilton and Big Star song. Even though Chilton recorded just three albums with Big Star back in the early 70's. Still, he managed to develop a cult following with poignant and power pop songs like "September Gurls" (covered by The Bangles).
I had never heard of him before until Paul Westerberg wrote a song about one of his rock heroes. Rock radio never played Chilton when I was growing up, so how could I ever know who he was?
Children by the million
sing of Alex Chilton when he comes 'round
they sing I'm in love
what's that song?
I'm in love, with that song
But when one your favorite artists starts name checking someone, it's probably a good bet to check that person out. See, it's about knowing history, about knowing influences and tracing it back to the source. There would be no Paul Westerberg in the way that I know his music today if it weren't for Alex Chilton and others. It's great to see more Asian American musicians posting their songs and performances on the internet but have roots, be rooted in something. Your work and endeavors will be richer if someone can trace your lineage to someone or some thing.
Furthermore, Alex Chilton is another great example of being true to one's self and a re-inforcing example of what I posted earlier about art. Do it because you love it and because there's something that you want to express to the world. Don't do it if you just want attention or to just to have a lot hits on being viewed on you tube. Success and recognition is nice but not if it turns you into a clown, being forced to perform by the record label in front of an audience you don't want to perform to, or TV appearances that embarrass you, or that they want to make you into a personality, some sort of red carpet celebrity. Just because something gets air time or radio play, doesn't mean it's necessarily all that good. There is so much good music, art, and talented people that go unnoticed and under appreciated. It's out there. If you want it, you can find it.
Chilton said in a 1987 interview with The Associated Press that he didn't mind flying under the radar with Big Star and later as a solo artist.
"What would be ideal would be to make a ton of money and have nobody know about you," he said. "Fame has a lot of baggage to carry around. I wouldn't want to be like Bruce Springsteen. I don't need that much money and wouldn't want to have 20 bodyguards following me."
Paul Westerberg wrote in the NY Times op-ed page, "How does one react to the death of one’s mentor? My mind instantly slammed down the inner trouble-door that guards against all thought, emotion, sadness. Survival mode. Rock guitar players are all dead men walking. It’s only a matter of time, I tell myself as I finger my calluses. Those who fail to click with the world and society at large find safe haven in music — to sing, write songs, create, perform. Each an active art in itself that offers no promise of success, let alone happiness."
Funny how an "obscure" cult figure like Alex had so much influence and was someone that mattered as opposed to the next boy band, flavor of the month, passing trend, pop diva that gives you nothing of lasting value outside of their 15 minutes of fleeting fame.
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